Post # 1
I read some of the posts regarding the issue of marrying a pastor and it dawned to me that my attire for my wedding is very important, as I will be facing congregation in a holy place. I really love strapless dresses, and wondered whether you guys feel it ok to wear that alone in a church in summers heat? What is your experience? Please suggest the appropriate ettiquite for a pastor to be wife bride?
All answers welcome!
Post # 3
@marychristianprincess: I don’t think strapless or thin straps are church appropriate. usually a jacket or cover of some sort works. Also cleavage is a not go
Post # 4
Not religious, but if you’re worried about overheating there are a lot of really pretty lace boleros and jackets being sold right now that would give you the coverage you want without adding too much extra weight! And then you could always take it off at the reception once you aren’t in the church anymore 🙂
Post # 5
Can you wear a bolero for when you’re in the church? there are some I’ve seen that are lace ‘pull-overs’ (I have no idea what the name is!) that you can wear as a sort of top, over the strapless dress, that gives you sleeves and cover-up.
That way they will hide bare arms, and anything low-cut (should your dress be low cut) and then you can remove it for the reception later!
Best of both worlds, maybe?
Post # 6
So I’m not a pastor’s wife to be, but I am a pastor to be and I really think that it depends on the denomination/congregation. In my church (Lutheran) while I would not wear strapless normally, I would wear strapless wedding dress without thinking twice. But if the denomination or congregation is super conservative (I’m thinking Southern Baptist or Pentecostal) nostrapless, and your shoulders and upper arms should be fully covered, as well as any bridesmaids. At anything in between you could always wear a cute bolero for the ceremony and take it off for the reception. Hope this helps :-).
Post # 7
There are also plenty of strapless dresses that can be made to have removable straps that look beautiful. I have seen plenty of recent weddings where the bride wears straps to the church ceremony, and removes the straps for the reception.
However, if you’re still questioning whether or not it’s appropriate, perhaps it’s best if you just forego the strapless dress all together.
Post # 8
We’re getting married in a church in Sweden, so Lutheran, and my grandma specifically asked me to wear something with a sleeve and, after a few rounds of dress talk, also one with a closed back. Since I want to wear a normal bra and I don’t like strapless (hate the little armpit roll), that wasn’t so difficult to promise. Now FINDING a dress that fulfils those criteria’s, not so easy! Could you perhaps get a strapless dress and add detachable sleeves to it? Then you can wear them in church and take them off for the reception.
Post # 9
My twin sister is a pastor’s wife and she got married over 10 years ago when we were 21, in the church. Her gown was a high neck halter and completely gorgeous but I don’t think she chose it for modesty, it just happened to be her favorite. I have been wedding dress shopping and it is VERY hard to find something not strapless these days!
Post # 10
For anyone else in the church strapless would probably be fine but as the pastors wife you should have some coverage. Get a little jacket or bolero and then have strapless for the reception!
Post # 11
As others have said, totally depends on the specific church and/or denomination. I wouldn’t even notice or think about it, if you were wearing a strapless dress.
Post # 12
I agree it that it depends on the congregation. I’m Southern Baptist and we see strapless dresses on the teens and early 20’s every Sunday. We would not be scandalized if the bride wore strapless even if she’s marrying pastor since we see it every Sunday during the actual worship service.
Every woman I grew up with there that got married recently had a strapless dress (myself included) and no one (even the deacons and church founders) were scandalized over it.
Post # 13
@sweet5k: Oh wow… us Southern Baptists are still considered super conservative? My home church and the half dozen I attended during college and after must have been outliers. It’s a lot different than when my grandparents (and even parents) got married.
Post # 14
@LittleCricket: I think for Southern Baptist, more than most other denominations it varies from church to church. I’m sure your church was very different than the ones I’ve visited (where I was one of the only women not wearing a hat and even in a conservative dress I felt very underdressed as a visitor). In that particular church, if someone were marrying the pastor, I believe their arms would need to be covered. Your churches are probably quite different.
I think this really highlights that it depends on your congregation. Maybe op should ask the advise of one of the women in the congregation that she is friendly with?
Post # 15
I am marrying a youth ministry major. He isn’t a paid worker for the church yet but he will be within the next few years. We still feel like we should set examples for those around us. Ex: I chose a simple and modest wedding band in order to avoid being flashy. With that being said, I will most likely wear a strapless dress with a sweet heart neckline for my church wedding. It won’t be a see through corest or overly sexy, but it will show a little more skin and not include sleeves. As long as you wear it tastefully and don’t bend down and flash cleavage everywhere I don’t think it’s a problem.
Post # 16
I’m very spiritual (Presbyterian), and I wouldn’t so much as blink at wearing a strapless dress in church, as long as I didn’t have crazy cleavage popping out or anything.