Post # 16
The worst part is all of the nosy friends and coworkers who constantly ask if it’s happened yet or if he will propose on an upcoming trip or something. I’m getting pretty tired of explaining that it STILL hasn’t happened!
Post # 17
- Wedding: October 2016 - Bloch Chapel
My favorite thing is when my coworkers play a super fun game of “guess who will be the next to have a baby.” It always comes down to, “you’re next! OH WAIT, you’re not even ENGAGED.”
Or when my family talks about my younger sister being “more established” because she’s married. For the record, I graduated college five years ago, am working a corporate job, live on my own, and haven’t taken money from my parents since college (unlike little sis).
But the worst thing, by far, is that stabbing pain when you see a new ring pic on Facebook. Or Instagram. Or Twitter. Or all three, in most cases.
Post # 18
hnnhkrk: omg – YES the “you’re next comment” is such a KILLER.
Post # 19
- Wedding: October 2016 - Bloch Chapel
lem0nbee23: Every time I want to say, “OMG YOU’RE SO FUNNY WITH THAT ORIGINAL LINE THAT NO ONE HAS EVER SAID EVER!!”
But of course I never will.
But I want to.
Post # 20
My partner (31) and I (26) have been backpacking the world for the last 13 months, dating for 4 years. Before we left I was expecting a proposal at any point… exploring beautiful scenery, hiking amazing trails and visiting iconic places and I’m just thinking ‘ohmygosh it could be any moment now’ it kind of detracts from the experience. I still love travelling with him, but it’s a little thing that bugs me. I need to chill out I know 🙂
I also repeatedly hear immigration officials or police who check our passports ask him if I’m his wife and then I get to keep hearing ‘no she’s just my girlfriend’ ouch!!!
Post # 21
HoppyMarie: ohmygod. That’d drive me crazy. “Just my girlfriend” But it also makes me laugh because I can see this scenario playing out.
Post # 22
The one that came straight to mind was not being involved in family pictures with my SO’s family. I KNOW this shouldn’t bug me because technically I’m not part of the family…but it’s still hard…we’ve been together 5 years now and I feel mostly like family. But if I think about it from their perspective I wouldn’t want to have me in the pictures, have us break up, and then feel weird about those family pictures forever. I’m looking forward to the day we all get together and I’m not asked to take the families picture anymore.
I’m the youngest in my office at 25…I don’t feel strange with my friends my age saying “boyfriend” but at work where literally every one is older and married, “boyfriend” sounds so high schoolish.
EVERYONE always asking when we are getting engaged…SERIOUSLY?! Why do people do this? After all the questions I get I will NEVER ask someone about when they are getting engaged.
Post # 23
- Wedding: September 2016 - Blue Hound Farm
The flip side tho is people never asked when SO and I are getting engaged (also been together 5 yes) and I think that’s almost worse in a way, cuz it’s like people don’t believe he would ask me to marry him? Idk, but thats kinda how I take it
Post # 24
Every time I come back from vacation friends and co workers look at my left hand…
Post # 25
What a coincidence! That card thing bothers me as well and was all the more highlighted when I had to bday card shop for him 1 week ago.
Also something else that annoys me: when I say the word boyfriend in connection with him it doesn’t seem to carry as much weight with people. The people who have been dating shorter times than us and got engaged/married seem to act like their relationship is better than ours now if that makes sense. It really should be quality over titles though (but I still want to get engaged haha).
Post # 26
Ugh! YES!! The card thing drives me nuts!!
And also still calling him my boyfriend after 4+ years seems so very inadequate.
marbelles: I completely agree with people getting married after a shorter amount of time and thinking their relationship is better. Just because you married someone you barely know does not mean your relationship is better than ours!
And wanting to call his siblings my SIL and Brother-In-Law and his nephew my nephew! I have known him his whole life and know him just as well as SO does, I feel like his family is my family already!
Post # 27
futuremrsm2889: I’m glad I’m not the only one who has felt that before haha. “Boyfriend” can mean a lot, but too bad there’s only one title for when you first start dating, and doesn’t change years later other than through engagement
Post # 28
07pswilliams: I think you might be me! Boyfriend is coming over to the UK (he’s in the US) in July and has pretty much told me he’s going to propose, but we have never discussed rings! He obviously can’t check my ring size from a few thousand miles away and I don’t think he has much of an idea what I would like. The rings I tend to wear are just simple silver bands so there’s not much to go on there. Maybe he is going to propose without one and we can choose one together? That would be preferable to getting something we hated! I think everyone knows he is going to propose. We’ve decided we’re going to move me to the US on a fiancée visa at some point, so it’s obvious what the plan is, it just feels like some weird engagement limbo! Even though I think it’s pretty clear it’s going to happen at some point, I still feel like I shouldn’t be “pressuring him” and bringing it up all the time because that would make me look like some engagement-zilla – I just need details!!!
Post # 29
No longer waiting but issue is still health insurance! I have had a issue for a couple years now, bought insurance out of pocket. Still haven’t found the cause after I invested almost $1000! I finally had to say, look. I need health benifits. Your job provides a good package. My grad school (very high fixed rate) and full time job (none offered), do not. You have known you want to marry me, I want to marry you. If we agree then let’s settle this so I can be properly looked at.
Post # 30
Love all the replies- some made me laugh out loud (I’m stealing the ‘if we move any slower we’ll be travelling back in time’ line) and some made me wince- ouch, know what that feels like (the dreaded round-up-the-single-ladies bouquet toss) I usually get out of the bouquet toss because I’m older & divorced, I’m not sure of the etiquette on that but I don’t want to take part anyway so I’m conveniently assuming this 🙂
Oh, one thing though- when I mentioned being hesitant buying stuff for my home because I might be moving in the near future- SO & I don’t live together, so I meant there would be a move after the engagement, not that I’d be moving out without one. My bad, didn’t explain that clearly.
Totally get the ‘girlfriend’ term frustration. I have another friend in the same boat- they’ve been together even longer than me & SO, & last weekend we were out having a few drinks & she was saying how she hates being introduced as ‘girlfriend’ , to her she says it sounds like they’re teens who’ve been dating a few months. ‘Girlfriend’ doesn’t really bother me- but we still had fun giggling over euphemisms we could come up with : everything from the old-fashioned ‘I have a gentleman caller’ to the tongue-in-cheek ‘Side ho’ 🙂
Like I said, I don’t mind the term ‘girlfriend’ but it does bug me how some people seem to rate our relationship lower because of it. Some of his extended family members especially, they’re pretty black-and-white about relationship status, it’s like there’s 2 one-size-fits-all categories: Married and Not Married. It seems like as soon as someone announces their engagement, they’re instantly family, even if they’ve been dating only a short period. But if you’re ‘girlfriend’, even if you’ve been together for years &/ or even if you live together, you’re ‘girlfriend’, a guest to be friendly and polite to, but someone interchangeable really, impermanent.
And health insurance too. This one isn’t too hard on me because I’m the one with the better benefit package through work, he’d be added onto mine, but it’s just one more thing in limbo still!