(Closed) All the little things that SUCK about Waiting! (for fun)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 61
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

Ahhhh how I can relate. I’m 29 and got engaged about a month ago after waiting 7 YEARS! Near the end of the waiting period I was such a mess and pretty unhappy. I watched all my friends get married before me (even though we were together longer) and start having babies. I’ve been a bridesmaid 7 times. I’ve heard all those “annoying” when are you getting married comments and even had my grandmother tell my SO “well you know her, always a bridesmaid never a bride”. My best advice for the waiting bees is to not compare yourself or your relationship to others. I feel this is what made me be even more upset and almost go off the deep end haha

Post # 62
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

RobbieAndJuliahaha:  I definitely relate! I had like two or three birthdays in a row where it just happened that someone referred to my SO as my husband, and I was like “Really? Again? On my birthday?” lol. It hardly happens that someone assumes he is my husband (just because you don’t really assume that, I don’t wear a ring, and most people think I look the age of a teenager) but when it does it’s on my birthday, LOL. Not being able to plan when it comes to signing the lease for my apartment (we don’t live together). My sister is getting married and started dating her fiance AFTER I started dating my boyfriend, I’m a bridesmaid, and her invite to me is for “Me and Guest” reallyyyy…I feel you on the household purchases, too. Funny thing is my SO and I bought the exact same bedroom set without knowing it lol. But he got one piece that I didn’t, and I got one piece he didn’t, so at least there’s that haha…

Post # 63
Member
15 posts
Newbee

We have Christms crackers in the UK (these kinda present type things you pull apart with other people and “win” the contents, they have a joke, paper hat and a really crappy “gift” inside them) and last year, all the crackers (literally all of them at three seperate dinners) I pulled had a plastic ring inside, hearing his parents / my parents and his friends all say maybe its a sign!! And him being completely oblivious!

Also we went to a fancy party with my family and having my aunt intorudce him as my “friend” (we’ve been together for over five years!) as it’s not done within those circles (English upper class) to introduce someone as a Boyfriend or Best Friend or Girlfriend you’re either friends or fiancees!

Also not being invited to a wedding of some of his friends as I “dont know them” who have been together for literally half the time we have – they get a wedding! and im not even invited ๐Ÿ™

And the worst – my mother trying to reassure me when I get nervous about how old I will be if I finally get to have children by saying “in the bible, Sarah was aged more than 90 and God gave her a baby” yeah thanks mum, really what I need to hear!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 64
Member
28 posts
Newbee

LilacLavender:  the wedding invite thing literally just happened to me. A family friend of my SO is having a destination wedding in the Dominican Republic and I wasn’t invited – even though we’ve lived together longer than that couple has even been together!

I’m actually okay with it though – I’m using the opportunity to let him go have some fun while I plan either a) a little trip of my own to visit a friend for half the cost of going to a wedding of two people I don’t know or b) a spa day and staycation. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 65
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

1. I hate hearing SO complain about his terrible prescription drug plan that he gets through work when I know fully well that my plan would cover all of his meds. (I’m talking $60 dollars a month savings AFTER I factor in the additional plan premiums…)

2. I hate pretending that we sleep in separate bedrooms for the sake of his conservative parents.

3. It breaks my heart to hear people say “So is she the one?” to SO and him having to say “IDK” because he wants our engagement to be a complete surprise to everyone.

4. His parents are planning a big family vacation after his dad finally retires and want to pay for all the kids to go (including me), but I would feel so guilty about accepting that kind of gift without being engaged or married to their son.

Post # 66
Member
35 posts
Newbee

The fact that my life is uncertain without him being comitted. I’m trying to make plans for my life and I can’t when I don’t know where he fits in to it. And, I will not give him up, so I have to wait. Also like everyone else, calling someone my boyfriend at 32 is pretty stupid. It also sucks that we have to split all the utilities and groceries and rent. I’d like to have everything together.

Post # 67
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

UGH. Yes, the catching of the bouquet. I got dragged into that a couple of weeks ago and got my hand absolutely gouged by a woman who WAS ALREADY ENGAGED. I made sure I ripped a couple flowers off it for myself anyway HAHA.

I hate the words ‘Girlfriend’ and ‘Boyfriend’… Thankfully, SO’s family now call me or introduce me to people as ‘Soon to be Daughter in Law’ etc etc anyway lol.

Post # 68
Member
25 posts
Newbee

There are many, but I’m just gonna name a few:

1. Future Sister-In-Law getting engaged before me to a guy she knew for 4 months whereas my bf and I have dated for 4.5 years. when she announced to me that he was gonna propose to her, her exact words to me were “don’t worry, but be prepared judgement is coming your way.” Greeeeat *eyeroll*

2. And I guess along the lines of the first one, the fact that her fiancé will start being called Uncle by my bf’s nephew…. Meanwhile I’ll still be called by my first name since I’m only the girlfriend. Even though I’ve known the kid since he was born. most guys don’t think of things like this as an issue, but hopefully some of my other waiting bees will understand. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 69
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

All of these. Every single thing you all have posted is exactly how I feel.  Uggggggghhhh. 

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