(Closed) All the tiny details cost BIG MONEY! Frustration!

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
28 posts
Newbee

So sorry to hear you’re so frustrated… it is always the extra stuff you didn’t plan for that can bit you.  As for tipping vendors, etiquette generally asks that you tip the employees of a vendor that will be at your event for the evening (like the head banquet captain or DJ, venue coordinator).  But if you are working with a stand alone vendors (like a photographer, wedding planner, florist, baker, etc).  Tip is assumed in the service fee and nothing extra is required.  A thank you note or positive reveiew can be more meaningful than the extra tip for many of your vendors and as a past venue coordinator, I was often not tipped.

Hope that chips away a little!

Post # 4
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

im so sorry to hear that i know you probably had you heart set on certain things going a certaint way but sometimes that just isnt possible. right now im struggling with the fact that i may not be able to get the honeymoon i dreamed of unless i skip the wedding all together! so maybe its time you sit down and calculate all the things you bought for your wedding party, is there anyway you can cut that down, maybe return some of them and get something cheaper? i also dont think your parents are going to be upset if they dont get a gift and your wedding that was just a tradition that i never fully understood. why not make it something personal like finding a sweet poem and having it typed up nicely and put into a frame with some of your wedding oer engagement photos. you can embellish the frame however you like or have it done for you and it wouldnt be expensive at all. did you think about ordering flowers online or even silk flowers and making arrangements yourself? if you parents cant financially help you maybe they would be willing to invest some time doing handmade favors that would free up money to use elsewhere.

Post # 5
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

There is no way that u need to give a gift to the parents. Ive never heard of that. I mean they arent the ones getting married. So y do we need to gift them. And with the gifts for the Bridesmaid or Best Man and the men. Go cheap.Theres nthing wrong with that.U do what u can afford.Its that simple.

And you dont have to tip the people alot. U decide how much. If anything.

But also,y do u even have to tip the dj and the photographer at all??Arent u already paying them a thousand or 2?? Ive never heard of tipping these people.

Do what u can afford!!! Forget what anyone else tells u.

Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with PP’s… be careful on your tips, you’re already paying all that other money!

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Pink Lady Krista: I don’t think so, you’re supposed to tip unless your DJ, photog, etc., own their business. Otherwise that service fee is going to the owner and you still owe a tip to the person actually doing the work.

Post # 8
Member
4415 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Check your contracts, and see if the gratuity is already included. There is nothing that says you have to give a tip, but definitely do not give one if it is already included in your contract. Wedding contracts are inflated a lot anyway just because the event has the word ‘wedding’ in it.

Gifts for your parents are not necessary. In fact, they would probably prefer that you not give them a gift is a gift was going strap you financially. They would probably prefer if you were able to take a bit of time after the wedding to spend a day with them. 

Flowers don’t have to be expensive. Figure out how much you can afford, and give that budget to your florist. Don’t go over it, and you do not have to tip the florist!

Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to spend more than you’ve budgeted. All the little things don’t have to stress you out. 

Post # 9
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry to hear that you are frustrated. I agree with the other bees to check the vendor contracts and think of alternatives to money/gifts. I am a big fan of items found at resale shops and stores like the Goodwill. A pretty vase or picture frame or some other timeless gift with a note can save you the money of those expensive engraved wedding gifts. Get it for $3-$5, clean it really well, and put it in a pretty box and no one will know. Other options are food gifts. For the rehersal dinner, maybe throw it at your/friends house and have some of the guests (wedding party) bring food dishes. Best of luck!

Post # 10
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

If your parents didn’t pay for the wedding, they shouldn’t get gifts. Also, check your contracts to make sure there isn’t a service fee or gratuity already factored in. It was for all mine, so tips were not needed. I also did not get a hair trial done, we just winged it on the day of

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