(Closed) Allowing Bridesmaids Dress Freedom

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think this is the best way to go about it. I think this always looks better (because the BMs look better in the dresses; it’s impossible to choose something that looks good on everyone), and it’s best for your BMs. Honestly, I think it’s the only fair/polite way to go unless the bride is willing to pay for the dresses (no one wants to buy a dress they don’t like/look bad in). There are tons of pictures on the bee of weddings with mismatched Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, and they look great!

Post # 4
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Sassafraskate:  I’m really not into matching dresses. I hate to see dresses that just don’t work for all the ladies’ body types and I can see how uncomfortable the women are.

The way I’m going is that I e-mailed my four BMs 20 dress choices and then the color options for each (they all come in varying shades of purple). They can chose whichever they want and whichever color.

The reason I didn’t go as far as to let them have “complete” freedom is because I wanted certain attributes for the dresses and already one Bridesmaid or Best Man is ignoring everything and started shopping on her own and can’t understand why I’m not all for her fuschia, strapless mini dress with knee high black boots. Even knowing what I’m looking for, she can’t follow it. So, I gave them choices, with some level of freedom.

Post # 5
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This is what I’m doing for my wedding.  I am planning on being a little more specific, as in pick a dress in the color lapis from David’s Bridal because if not I’ll end up with three very different shades of purple.  This will allow them to pick a style that they like and in a price range they are comfortable with.

Post # 6
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Thats what I did for my bridesmaids. I basically told them the color, no long dresses, and satin since my dress is satin. I felt that my criteria was too demanding, but my bridesmaids were so grateful they could pick 🙂 I told them I just want them to be comfortable in the dresses.

Post # 7
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

Seriously this is the best thing ever. I had to pay an arm and a leg for a dress I don’t really like. I wish I could have got something more affordable, and that I feel more comfortable in.

Post # 8
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I did this…I chose the material, color and length and let them chose the dress that they wanted within their price range….my 2 Bridesmaid or Best Man actually ended up choosing the same dress after all and my sister and Maid/Matron of Honor chose something different but similar which is nice cause then she will stand out a bit.

Post # 9
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@BetterSherm:  This is where the drama starts. It seems that no matter how many options you give they always try to push the line a little farther. In some cases I think you could give them complete freedom and there would still be drama for some reason….some people just crave it I guess.

Post # 10
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m doing this too! I picked a color that would look good together and told them: not long, not super pale (don’t look almost whiteWink), no cleavage, and no pattern (yet my sister has chosen a patterned one. Ugh. But it’s not a big deal). I told them to get anything they wanted that they would want to have in their closets in the future. I wanted them to buy something they liked, that they’d feel confident in, that was within their price range. A fun addition that I did though, was toask them to wear colorful shoes that are my colors. Is it bad to have asked them to wear certain shoe colors?

Post # 11
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I tried so hard to do this but we couldn’t find coral that worked well anywhere, then we found the right color at j crew and 2 of my 3 bms liked the same dRess so they all ended up in the same one lol. 

Post # 12
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

In the U.K it is not very usual for the bridesmaids to choose their own dresses (or have to buy them) However I did take my bridesmaids to try on tons of dresses and we all agreed on a length and style. I always wanted matching bridesmaids and luckily they are the same height and size so it made choosing easier. I chose the colour and paid for the dresses and will be paying for the alterations. I also am paying for shoes, jewellery, hair to be done etc etc…They won’t be paying for a thing.

  I have sympathy for both brides and bridesmaids in this situation – I can’t help but think this ‘allowing the bridesmaids to choose’ certainly doesn’t help the bride.v.bridesmaid wars that I have seen so much of on here…but then I can see the other side of it and being handed a dress and told “You are going to wear this” or being pointed in the direction of a dress that is your worst nightmare with a huge price tag, doesn’t help tensions either.

    My bridesmaids aren’t paying anything towards the dresses and other bits and they wouldn’t dream of having a tantrum about wearing the dresses. I think this is because we have worked together on it, made decisions together – they love the dresses and so do I. IMO it doesn’t matter if the bride chooses and pays for the dress of the BM’s do it – communication is important. I have consulted with my BM’s all along on their preferences and we all agree on most things – if there has been any difference in opinion we try and meet in the middle. I want them to be comfortable and enjoy the day and they want the wedding day to be the day of my dreams. 

Post # 13
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I did the same thing with my ladies. I just said here are a few guidlines the dress has to be green and I would prefer it to be not one shouldered, but if you really want one with one should, I’m all good.’ I went with them to try on dresses and they ended up all choosing the same dress lol! I laughed but glad that everyone was happy!

Post # 14
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, I think that’s the way to do it! I have the same plans for mine, so long the dress isn’t too crazy. I figured same color, reasonably same style. That is, between just above the knee and tea length and nothing printed, insanely fluffy, or metallic. Other than that, freedom 😉

Post # 15
Member
1095 posts
Bumble bee

We are doing a variation of this. First we got together and determined a price point that everyone was comfortable. Then I named some colors that I had in mind and we voted on which one would look best on everyone. I happenned to find a designer that has various different styles in the same fabric, in our color. The girls chose their own style based on what they liked and what suited them. If I hadnt found this particular designer, I would have been totally fine with them getting dresses from different places in the same color.

 

Post # 16
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would’ve loved to do this, but super-traditional Fiance was having none of it- everyone was going to match, dammit, except maybe the Maid/Matron of Honor, and even then, it’s gonna be close, and the boys are gonna have matching vests and ties, because in his head, “that’s what you do for a wedding.”  Honestly, I think they’re all going to look like they’re going to a very strange prom (I don’t like matchy-matchy weddings, personally), but whatever, that falls squarely under “battles that aren’t important enough to fight.”

So what I did was explained the situation to my BM’s (who, knowing Fiance, all understood immediately that it was not my doing), chose the color (navy, which almost everyone can wear without looking washed out or sick), and sat down with each girl to talk price and style.  Generally, they all told me they didn’t really care if it’s short or long, but they did care that it camoflaged a belly.  They almost unanimously wanted straps of some sort- only one didn’t really care, the rest were really anti-strapless.  And the price ranges fell everywhere from “as cheap as possible” to “sky’s the limit”. 

There was one dress from DB I really liked and fit all the requirements (I decided I wanted long, it had straps, and it came in the right color), but I thought it would look terrible on most of them.  They all gravitated toward it in the store though, and all absolutely loved it when they put it on.  Now that they’re in, they’re all even happier about it. Seriously, I think I pulled off the bridesmaids dress coup- 5 girls, ages 14-36, sizes 00-18, 5’1-5’9, one dress, all happy (or at least not miserable enough that it shows when they try on the dress). 

Although at least my Maid/Matron of Honor has told me that even if someone does hate the dress, the $130 price tag makes it a lot easier to swallow, considering she has a few Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses hanging in her closet that she really will never wear again that she spent anywhere from $250-450 on.

The topic ‘Allowing Bridesmaids Dress Freedom’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors