(Closed) (Almost) 3 Year Engagement?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I could never be engaged for that long I would die waiting!!!! Our engagement period will be for 14 months, so I dont really have any advice sorry. But congrats on your engagement!!

Post # 3
Member
9829 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Congratulations OP!! We have been engaged for 3 and a half years already, with at least two more to go! It can fly by, believe me. But we don’t live together yet, want to before we get married, or have as many ducks in a row as you seem to. I’m of the opinion that whatever works for the couple is the right way to go.

Post # 4
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
missnicolemcg:  I was previously engaged to another man, prior to my now husband.

we had a three year engagement. It ended up with a breakup. It felt so stagnant and fake because it was so far away. I could see 2 years, but 3 years is a lot.

its not for me. But if it works for you, good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

I can’t imagine 3 years.  Mine is 11 months and it was too long.

Unless you are planning a very elaborate, extremely pricey event I can’t understand it.  Weddings really don’t have to take that much time to plan depending on what you want.  Just don’t drive yourself crazy.

Post # 6
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

You get engaged to get married…. soon. It is strange to have more than a 1.5 year engagement.

Post # 7
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
missnicolemcg:  I couldn’t do it- but then again we had been together for 6 years when we got engaged, owned our house for 4 and living together for 2, and had no reason to wait to get married so it would have made me crazy to just be sitting there waiting all of that time.

I think whatever works for each couple is different and if this is something you are comfortable with, then that is exactly what you should do.

Post # 8
Member
9467 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I sympathize, OP. I’ve been engaged about 9 months now and we haven’t even started one ounce of planning. We’ve been together almost 8 years now and aren’t in any rush. A wedding/legal marriage will have no impact on our daily lives at this point. And we will likely have to pay 5-figures more in taxes per year once legally married, so we have to talk to a tax advisor to figure out exactly how much that’ll be. We also just bought a house and are in escrow right now so have our hands very full with that. 

Long story short, I post my story on every thread like this because I truly believe that every couple has different circumstances that they’re dealing with that might make it such that jumping right into wedding planning after engagement isn’t possible. And I don’t judge anyone for that. But I know lots of people out there in the world do, so my advice is just stay true to what works for you and your Fiance and try not to let the criticism of outsiders lead you to make decisions for your own relationship that may not be best for you. Every couple, and every relationship, is different.

Post # 9
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Everyone has their own preference about engagement length. Some people can’t wait 6mths and some people just need/want more time or they will go crazy lol.

We are having a longer engagment. Fiance has to have surgery and that wiped out some of our savings but if that’s what works for you than go for it.  Some people will understand and some won’t. 

Post # 10
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

Oh gosh, I wouldn’t dream of an egagement that long, but my Fiance is a Marine stationed thousands of miles away, and the Corps doesn’t allow co-habitation with your girlfriend/boyfriend. So I’m having a FAST (6 months) engagement. That’s short for my circle, but everyone was already living with their SO when they started planning their wedding.. Sigh, what a luxury. I’m jealousm

Post # 12
Member
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

I’m with you girl. I got engaged in July 2014 and our tentative date is May 2017. It’s what is right for us and I don’t feel the need to justify it to anyone despite all the negativity that surrounds long engagements. Do whatever works for you. 

Post # 13
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee

We are coming Up on the anniversary of our engagement. No date set. We had intended on doing it summer 2016, but life has gotten in the way and I’m not sure it’s possible. 

So if that doesn’t pan out we’d be pushed back to summer 2017 (Summer is his slow season at work). That would be just shy of a 3 year engagement. 

the wedding is important to us. We do want to legally be married, but we aren’t interested in adding the stress of planning and spending money on it when there’s so much demanding our attention right now. 

if it happens to be a 3 year engagement then so be it. You only get to be a fiancée once. Enjoy it!

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