(Closed) Almost broke up–in kind of a “trial” time

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Keep your chin up during this very trying time. You have the support of the whole hive behind you!

Post # 4
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

Are you fighting about the wedding or? Not that I want to be nosey or have you say all of the issues but it is hard to give advice if I don’t know exactly what advice your asking for. Your wedding is fairly soon so could it be that you both are nervous or is the planning stressing you out? Maybe you could use more couple time instead of wedding planning time. What are things you both like to do and enjoy eachothers company at the same time?

Post # 5
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You could always try that “love dare” book…. 

I’m really sorry. I hope that this time between now and easter is one of peace for the two of you.

Post # 6
Member
946 posts
Busy bee

Use this time to work on yourself.  Get your physical and spiritual health in line.  It will help to get you centered.  Sending love your way!

Post # 7
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sorry to hear that things are so difficult right now.  Make sure that whatever decisions you make, you make the right ones for you.

 

Post # 8
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Fiance and I went through a period like this a couple of years ago. He wanted to break up; we took a break for three weeks and had a “trial period” for a little while after that. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Going to work and acting normal throughout those three weeks was horrible. But we made it, and our relationship was stronger for it. If you love each other, it is possible to make real changes for the better. I don’t want to go into details publicly, but feel free to PM me for advice, to vent, or anything. And stay strong – you can figure this out. 

Post # 9
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Best wishes and its good to hear you are taking some time to really try with the relationship.  You can always vent to WB

Post # 10
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That is tough.  Continue to have faith.  I’m a proponent of space, not the kind that allows you to see other people, but the literal kind.  When we’ve had our downs, if we just don’t talk/argue, if we give ourselves time to be introspective and come back to it all, we end up in a better place.  And I’m confident that sometimes a relationship just needs a re-grouping.  In this time you guys can re-evaluate what it is you are both lacking, what you’d like to change, etc.  Its so cliche but communication is key, just sit on it for a bit first. 

Wishing you the best!

Post # 12
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Don’t take him dinner. He needs some space and it seems like he is testing you to see if you’ll let him have it.  And be in bed when he gets home but maybe leave him a nice note for him when he gets home to just simply say you love him. A lot of us have a need to talk things out and for constant affirmation but most guys lose patience for this after a while and start to pull away. Show him that you are independent and that you are confident in his love for you (even if at the moment you are not)!  I know it is hard but have faith in him and your relationship. You made it this far so clearly he loves you but maybe just feels a bit smothered/overwhelmed right now.  Hang in there and stay strong! 

Post # 13
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Once he cools down I highly recommend couples counseling. I think that it will help you both clear your minds and organize your thoughts and frusturations!

Post # 15
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Absolutely no on the dinner.  From the very very limited information I’d say he’s committed to you and loves you but you guys are having a problem right now.  Problems happen – and they can get resolved.  You’ve got to give him space when he needs it though.  Sometimes after I have some space my “how can i live with X, it mean Y and that’s such a huge fundamental problem” turns to “eh, he is wonderful and wow was i overblowing and overthinking X”.  I just need some space and positive unrelated interaction. 

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