Post # 1
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been dating for 3 years and talking about getting engaged in sept. like other posts I’ve been reading, he is dragging his feet a bit. Also learned from other posts I’ve read here tht pushing is NOT the answer, so I don’t want to do that. That being said, his mother knows a jeweler personally and told Boyfriend or Best Friend that he could make the ring for him for cost. Since its a private transaction, I have no idea how long it will take, if he can do a payment plan or has to pay in full. I told him to just find out the answers to these questions so he knows when he needs to place the order with him. He said he will do that this weekend and I believe he will. But we had a conversation last night about how once we are engaged he views that as the same as being married because he has already made tht personal and spiritual commitment to me, even tho we are not legally married yet. We plan on being engaged for about three years while we both finish grad school and save up so we will not be living married life for a while.
That being said, it shows me that he is taking this seriously, but if this is how he views things I’m not so sure I believe that we will be engaged by sept. he likes to talk about the wedding up to a certain point. So I guess I am unsure if he really wants to do this or if he just doesn’t want to do this or if he is just yesing me in hopes that come sept. I will not care anymore and he will make another deadline for the engagment. Any similar experiences?
Post # 3
Really not sure but I hope you getpositive progress soon.
Post # 4
My relationship is similar to yours. Similar in a sense that we’ve dated for a little over 4 years, and have talked about marriage for over 3 years. He wanted to get engaged/married after 5 years of dating, and me after 3. He went back to grad school and I had the notion that we would have been engaged two winters ago, but that didn’t happen, and then I thought we’d be engaged a year ago, but that didn’t happen. There was a few times where he said “I’ll try my best” and we talked about a long engagement. We both know we are going to get married and be together forever and he is confident in us and our relationship. The reason why it’s taking longer than planned and hoped is because he wants to be in a good financial position to take care of us and to be able to pay for an engagement/wedding/and still have money left for savings/house/living comfortably. It was ideal in his mind to finish grad school and get a job and save up enough money to do this, which took a bit of time. He finished grad school in Dec, started a fulltime job in his industry in Dec, and has been saving up money since! So instead of a long engagement, we’re probably going to have one that is 12-14 months!
If you SO has the right intentions but wants to be more financially secure, and do everything in the correct order and time, then all you can do is support his decision and wait, or come to some sort of compromise.
I think I had some mental and emotional breakdowns a few time, so about a year ago he gave me a promise ring, a promise of his love and his commitment to replace it with an engagement ring when the time is right. Our engagement is to come within the next few months! So after 4 years and so many months of waiting…. it is almost here! Be patient 🙂 It’s tough enough for us to be cracking down on our guys’, and it’s tough to be waiting, but when the time comes and I look back, the waiting wasn’t too bad, and time kinda flew by.