Post # 1
So my boyfriend and I have discussed getting engaged. He mentioned in February that we would be engaged before our 6th Anniversary in October. So it’s now August and in the past month at least 5 of our friends have gotten engaged so I have been getting anxious and antsy. We had been ring shopping every so often, and never really discussed a budget or anything. After all our friends getting engaged it has been getting serious. We don’t have much money so my mom offered us the diamond from her old ring which we will be using with a new setting that he is going to pick out. We decided to tell both of our parents in confidence that they wouldn’t tell anyone, but they went out and told everyone. Our whole extended families now know and people have been congratulating us on our non-exsistent engagement. Now I kind of feel everything is being rushed, and I haven’t really been much of a help since I now feel since everyone in the world knows just hurry up and do it. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable like it has to be rushed in case he had something special planned, but we really thought telling our mothers would be a respectful thing to do. We really didn’t expect them to go around telling everyone. Plus now his mom wants to sit us down and talk to us about are wedding plans and our plans for the future and there isn’t even a ring yet. If they are this crazy about an engagement we don’t even want to know what they will do during wedding planning.
Post # 3
@dat5053: You’ve been put into a pretty crappy situation, but should it really take *that* long to sit down with your SO, discuss a budget, and pick out a setting?
I guess after 6 years together I’d hardly call this rushing. I know every couple is different but picking out a ring shouldn’t be too hard. You can have a long engagement and spend months planning the wedding.
I suggest browsing Blue Nile to see what sort of settings you might like and to get an idea of pricing (you can look at just settings themselves).
Maybe once you get the ring, keep it secret for a few days so at least you have *something* to yourselves.
Good luck and congrats on your (almost) engagement 🙂
Post # 4
That stinks, but I think you’re learning a lesson early that I’ve learned recently that will be helpful once you’re engaged – DON’T TELL ANYONE ANYTHING!! I’m being overdramatic, but seriously, don’t tell people things until you and your fiance are ready for it to go viral, people to start getting expectations, people to start asking you about it, etc. I’ve learned it watching a friend that is getting married (she has been telling people things that have not been set in stone, she’s had to change it pretty substantially – like going from serving dinner to dessert only), and it has been kind of a mess.
Sorry you’re dealing with it, but chalk it up to lesson learned and keeping things private until they are 100% done. Even things like venue and date, I’m learning. People get one thing in their head and it’s a much bigger hassle to undo those ideas from them than it is to put them off in the first place.
As far as the engagement situation, I think it’s really up to your Boyfriend or Best Friend when he wants to do it, but I think it’s reasonable to set a timeline together. If you’ve already made a decision, you really could consider yourself engaged but waiting on the ring.