Post # 1
I got engaged the last week of November. The first call I made was to the church. My priest, who I know well and I’m fairly close to, told me not to schedule meetings with him until after the holidays. He told me to call his assistant to schedule them AFTER I had completed NFP and my marriage preparation (either engaged encounter or marriage prep retreat). Well, I did this and today I called his assistant and she said that he is booked until late spring for our required four face to face meetings!
I’m such a planner and so involved in my church that I almost freaked. I was worried that maybe they didn’t even have our wedding “penciled in”. Luckily they did (though I would really like some written confirmation) but I was in a cold sweat and could not eat lunch.
Now I am FREAKING out. I thought I had done all the “right” things and she made it sound like it was too late. I feel like I am going to have nightmares until the actual wedding day about a. not getting our meetings with our priest in time and b. the church double booking the church.
What would you do? I feel like late spring for our August wedding is too late to begin talks with the priest. Any advice? I am very involved in my parish, but don’t want to play that card, unless others think it is necessary. Would you be freaking out too? My fiance thinks I worry too much. I’m just a major planner.
Post # 3
If possible, try speaking directly (face to face if possible) with your priest. While our parish pastor’s secretary is well aware of his engagements, Monsignor makes his own appointments & moves things around to “Make it work.” Additionally, he may think that late Spring is plenty of time, especially since he is so familiar with you & your work in the parish. Talk to him first. Good luck!
Post # 4
I agree with Ms. Pascua – cut out the middle man and talk to your priest the next time you see him – maybe you can catch him after Mass this weekend? I’ve only really spoken to the priests who are involved in our wedding (the one who is marrying us and the one at my church at home).
If you let him know you’d like to make sure that you’re on track with your planning and let him know what you’d like to clarify.
Post # 5
I agree with the other ladies. Try and speak with your priest face to face. After mass is probably easiest (at least if your priest is like mine). It’s probably best to speak with him before you have a heart attack. 🙂
Post # 6
I’d imagine that talking to your priest in the 3-4 months leading UP to the wedding is probably OK. So try not to stress! I don’t know anyone who’s started meeting with their priest far before that.
Look at it this way–those other brides in the spring slots are probably getting married before you anyways!
Post # 7
I would try to talk to the priest. We had to do at least four meeting with the priest and four meeting with lay couples who spoke on marriage issues. The meetings with the lay couples had to be scheduled with other engaged couples. We also did Engaged Encounter. This process took several months since the priest books up fast. I was glad to have our meetings done a while before the wedding, one the couples i our small group didn’t finish their meetings until two weeks prior. We also needed to be done with our paperwork early since we were marrying in a different diocese than where we did PRe-Cana. We did our PRe-Canna in the Diocese of Arlington.
Post # 8
I’d absolutely relax and talk to the priest. It’s most certainly not too late to start having meetings in the spring for your summer wedding. We haven’t scheduled our meetings yet, and we’re getting married in June. We only got confirmation that our pastor would be the priest to marry us 2 weeks ago.
It may not feel good sticking something SO important so close to the wedding, but some times it just can’t be helped.
Post # 9
First of all, offer up to God all your anxieties to Christ and just strive to focus on what you need to do next than trying to control the things you just can’t control.
Seriously, I have had a million and one walls to collid with in getting married and at first I was wondering why it was happening. I’m a devout practicing Catholic. But first my priest had a stroke. Then we got this 24 year old priest from India who simply did not communicate well and basically did not understand what Canon Law requires for getting married and thought it was a more complicated process than it was. It seemed like he thought he needed to get the bishop’s approval for us to marry and until he got that, we would not be allowed to set a date.
But long story short, with that and everything else that occured during this time period, we ultimately decided to postpone our marriage and begin planning it after my fiance’ graduated. My parish got assigned a new pastor who is absolutely wonderful and is bending over backwards for us. But so far I’ve had two bridesmaids bail on me (one after trying to manipulate me to pay for her dress.), I had to replace the flower girl, my grandmother is ill and will not be able to make the wedding, a photographer whose extreemly cheap but requires being hassled to actually send you your photos, and a chior director who agreed in mail to organize a group for my wedding back in July, kept delaying communication and finally informed me 3 days ago that he couldn’t get any singers to commit and that now I have to find another route on my own with less than 3 months before the wedding.
What I can tell you is that my reaction to the problems at the beginning of our engagement is different than it was at the end. I’m worrying less. I’m trusting God more. I’m letting go of that which I can’t control. I’m coming out of my shyness shell more. I’m ultimately growing as a person because of this.
Post # 10
yeah defintely speak with him. i’m also very involved in my church, and i know my pastor on a very personal level, and i think that if they know something needs to be done, they’ll move stuff around for you.
remember that your priest has probably done this many times before and if you spoke to him he could let you know the time frame and what works best.
Post # 11
Im confused, what are these talks? They are like, planning who is doing the readings, etc? I have never heard of a required 4 talks – perhaps that is conditional to just your church? in which case, maybe your priest can cut you a break and have 2 really long meetings or something? (or is this 4 meetings thing for me too and i just have no idea what im talking about? haha)
If thats the only thing standing in your way, I wouldn’t worry about it too much – Ask your priest, im sure you can work it out!! 🙂