(Closed) Almost one year later.. still no thank you notes?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Rise above and be the better person. She will remember your sweet gesture.

Post # 4
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

One has nothing to do with the other.  Yes, she is late with her thank-you notes. But good etiquette also involves not making others feel uncomfortable for their actions ( or, in this case, inactions).

If you wish happiness for your cousin and her husband on the occasion of their anniversary, send them a card.

Post # 5
4883 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Of course you should still send her a card.

Post # 6
3942 posts
Honey bee

@MrsEdamame: Some people just dont understand or care about how important a thank you note is.

Post # 7
3135 posts
Sugar bee

My sister – miss queen of etiquette does not send thank you notes anymore.

In fact, if I mail a gift to her or the kids I send her an email/text asking her to email/text me when she has it so I know it made it okay and I usually don’t even get that.

I’ve given up.


Post # 8
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Definitely send the anniversary card and as PP have said, let the thank you note thing slide. However, I might find a way to passive-aggressively prod her.  I would say that I was worried my gift got lost in the shuffle and I wanted to make sure she got it.  Hint, hint:)

Post # 9
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would just send the card and let her be thank you noteless. She might see your card and be jolted into thank you action.

Post # 10
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

At this point I think it’s highly doubtful that you will receive a Thank You card, so I would just move on and send your card anyway.

Post # 11
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My soon-to-be sister-in-law never sent thank-you cards from her wedding. Why? She was waiting for her husband to help her with them. That never happened, so they never went out. Their wedding was 3 years ago.

Send them an anniversary card, and give up on the idea that you are getting a thank you note.

Post # 12
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think if you usually send a happy anniversary card to everyone else, this should be no exeption! Your anniversary card has nothing to do with their thank you’s. Although I will say that is a rediculous amount of time. Writing thank you notes is time consuming yes, but its not that bad!! If you make an effort to do ten or so a day then its not going to take up that much time, and you cant tell me that someone really cant spare 10-15 minutes a day to say thank you to the people that attended their wedding and showered them with gifts. Its rude, yes. But be the bigger person.

Post # 14
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@MrsEdamame: I think most people still like getting snail mail that is not a bill! I think she is just avoiding the work associated with thank-you notes.

Post # 15
1363 posts
Bumble bee

Sned the card and no passive-aggression as has been suggested. Passive-aggressive notes are not big or clever, they are just plain aggressive pretending not to be. Be nice – send them a card! There could be all sorts of reasons why they didn’t do it….. or they’re lazy! But hey, lazy people like cards too.

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