Post # 1
One of my cousins was married in October 2010. It was a gorgeous ceremony, and the reception had beautiful DIY details that my cousin did herself. It was also relatively smaller, around 130 guests. I was thrilled when she asked me to be a reader for the ceremony, and was honored to participate.
That being said, the bride was still finishing up her college degree during the past year. When her mom began to inquire about thank you notes around Christmas, I know she said that she was swamped with schoolwork and they would have to wait. Around easter, she inquired again and she said that she would send them out after graduation (the first week of May).
Here we are, about 2 weeks shy of their 1 year anniversary, and no one in the family has received a thank you. I completely understand her being too busy during school to finish them, but she had the whole summer when she was just working and had the evenings and weekends free!
Usually I send Happy Anniversary cards to couples that invited us to their weddings, but I’m a little confused why my cousin is apparently refusing to send thank you notes. What do you think Bees? Should I send an anniversary card anyways?
Post # 3
Rise above and be the better person. She will remember your sweet gesture.
Post # 4
One has nothing to do with the other. Yes, she is late with her thank-you notes. But good etiquette also involves not making others feel uncomfortable for their actions ( or, in this case, inactions).
If you wish happiness for your cousin and her husband on the occasion of their anniversary, send them a card.
Post # 5
Of course you should still send her a card.
Post # 6
@MrsEdamame: Some people just dont understand or care about how important a thank you note is.
Post # 7
My sister – miss queen of etiquette does not send thank you notes anymore.
In fact, if I mail a gift to her or the kids I send her an email/text asking her to email/text me when she has it so I know it made it okay and I usually don’t even get that.
I’ve given up.
Post # 8
Definitely send the anniversary card and as PP have said, let the thank you note thing slide. However, I might find a way to passive-aggressively prod her. I would say that I was worried my gift got lost in the shuffle and I wanted to make sure she got it. Hint, hint:)
Post # 9
I would just send the card and let her be thank you noteless. She might see your card and be jolted into thank you action.
Post # 10
At this point I think it’s highly doubtful that you will receive a Thank You card, so I would just move on and send your card anyway.
Post # 11
My soon-to-be sister-in-law never sent thank-you cards from her wedding. Why? She was waiting for her husband to help her with them. That never happened, so they never went out. Their wedding was 3 years ago.
Send them an anniversary card, and give up on the idea that you are getting a thank you note.
Post # 12
I think if you usually send a happy anniversary card to everyone else, this should be no exeption! Your anniversary card has nothing to do with their thank you’s. Although I will say that is a rediculous amount of time. Writing thank you notes is time consuming yes, but its not that bad!! If you make an effort to do ten or so a day then its not going to take up that much time, and you cant tell me that someone really cant spare 10-15 minutes a day to say thank you to the people that attended their wedding and showered them with gifts. Its rude, yes. But be the bigger person.
Post # 13
Thanks everyone for the comments. I was planning on still sending a card… I guess I’m just concerned that maybe some young couples don’t appreciate “snail mail” correspondence anymore? We still really enjoy receiving mail from friends and family. So I assumed they would as well, but their attitude towards thank you notes just made me think that perhaps it wouldn’t be worth the effort.
But I’ll be getting their card in the mail next week. I really like letting newlywed couples know that we are remembering them on their anniversary and wishing them well in the years to come. 🙂
Post # 14
@MrsEdamame: I think most people still like getting snail mail that is not a bill! I think she is just avoiding the work associated with thank-you notes.
Post # 15
Sned the card and no passive-aggression as has been suggested. Passive-aggressive notes are not big or clever, they are just plain aggressive pretending not to be. Be nice – send them a card! There could be all sorts of reasons why they didn’t do it….. or they’re lazy! But hey, lazy people like cards too.