Post # 1
I love weddingbee even after getting married so I figured this was the best place to get some support for you girls.
I’ve been happily married for almost a year now and love my husband very much. Recently I’ve just been feeling really down about our current living situation. My husband and I have gone through a lot of transitions these past few years, first with him working out of state, then going back to school full time for his MBA, and wedding planning mixed in there has sort of put a strain on our financial situation which brings us to our current living situation (we still live with my parents 3 years). While we have some money saved up it is surely is not enough for NY’s real estate. Don’t get me wrong, we both have good paying jobs. We agreed that while our living arrangement right now isnt ideal at least were not paying rent and can use all our funds to pay off our credit cards. In turn, when we buy our house we will be in a much better situation (= no cc debt = only mortgage payments)
I guess I’m just getting impatient, need to vent and feel like I will never be a home owner. While most people (I guess) buy or rent a place first and then get married, I did the opposite. Anyone else out there going through or have gone through something similar? How long did it take you to buy your first home?
Post # 3
Don’t be so hard on yourself! I know it’s tough when you feel like at a certain age you need to have achieved certain things in your life. But in actuality, everyone’s timeline is different. I got very lucky in a sense that when I met my husband, he had pretty much everything planned out for himself and I was along for the ride. I lived with my parents for the first 2 years of our relationship, moved out and paid rent for 2 years (not having been able to save anything during that time) and finally last year we ventured into buying a house together. I will fully admit that if not for his planning and saving, we would NOT have a home.
I do consider us very lucky because we are both under 30 and to be able to say we own a home is no small feat. We were also very blessed in having his parents contribute to the ridiculously large closing costs associated with buying a home. In the end though, know that it is not impossible. It’s important to know what you can afford mortgage wise and where you want to live. For us Manhattan was just out of the question, so we looked further…we now live in Brooklyn and couldn’t love it more! The real estate market is slow, but NYC is not declining as rapidly as other areas so you definitely need to explore your options.
While I don’t know how much debt your currently in with your CC bills, you may want to look into financial plans offered through your companies. For instance I know some companies allow you to borrow from your 401K without penalty for the purchase of a primary residence. This may be something you want to look into.
It’s no overnight decision as buying a home takes many countless hours of research, decision making and most of all calculations, so don’t feel like because you are at X point in your life this is what you must do. Live life at your own pace and don’t let society dictate where you should be.
Post # 4
Do you not have enough money to rent a place? If living with your parents is putting a strain on your marraige, get out! Maybe it will take a little longer to buy a home if you’re saving for a DP, paying rent, and paying bills, but if your marriage is suffering, I’d say it’s worth it.
I would definitely not borrow from your 401(k) to get a home, I definitely don’t think it’s worth dipping into your retirement. You live in a HCOL market, don’t beat yourself up for not having a home. Plenty of people rent in NY for years and years and years before they can afford a place.
Post # 5
Well what is great is that you are both working on an important goal. You are planning to be home owners and working on gettng rid of all credit cards debts, that’s a huge thing.
I wish we had family we could live at for a few month so we could save for a down payment.
We’ve almost been married for a year now too (although we are re-doing it so both families can finally meet).
I’ve been working 3 jobs, which doesn’t always make things easy when we barely see each other some weeks, but we know why we do it. We’re saving every penny we can because we have to pay off his credit cards, pay for the wedding and save for a downpayment.
So do not feel bad, you will be a home owner because it is your goal, you are working toward it and therefore it will happen.
Meanwhile, try to take some time away with your husband, even if it just means camping somewhere so you don’t spend the extra money you are trying to save. But give yourselves some quality time, it’s important.