(Closed) Almost pulled the plug on my own Bridal Shower……Crap is this long…SORRY!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

ah, hugs to you!

Not too much advice but lately I’ve been feeling bad that my mom will have to see and interact with some of my dad’s side of our family that weren’t very nice to her during my parent’s divorce. I just want everyone to get along! She told me she was stressed about seeing them but then said “I will just suck it up, it’s your day!”

Sooo… I guess what I’m trying to say is… uh, if Future Sister-In-Law isn’t involving herself, it’s not you.. it’s her. And too bad for her while we’re at it! I’m sure there is fun to be had and if she’s going to be “meh” about it, let her do it somewhere else and you can go on your merry way and have a good time and enjoy being engaged!

Post # 4
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

“My other concern ( yes there is more ) is also that Future Sister-In-Law hasn’t been involving herself into anything at all…no ideas…no suggestions….not volunteering to help in other ways…NOTHING.”

Listen to your Fiance, don’t take it personal. People have different ideas about what their “responsibilities” are as a bridesmaid. Maybe she hasn’t offered any ideas or suggestions because she doesn’t want feel like an intruder, especially considering that you have your sisters and friends helping. And as far as volunteering to help, if people need help they need to ask not everyone is the type to say “hey what do you need?” Some people wait for help to be requested. 

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

she recently had a baby and her  and her husband ( FI’S brother) also have another child so while she was on maternity leave they weren’t getting much money in. She’s been back to work

My other concern ( yes there is more ) is also that Future Sister-In-Law hasn’t been involving herself into anything at all…no ideas…no suggestions….not volunteering to help in other ways…NOTHING

to be honest i would cut her some slack, shes a mom to a newborn plus another plus working – will she be at the shower? yes.  will she be at the wedding? yes

im not saying your feelings are important but i am saying everyone has their own priorities and as long as she is supportive and happy then you have many other people in your bridal party taking care of business and getting things done

Post # 6
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

@Crisark: I am sorry, that sounds so frustrating.. She should have been upfront with you about her total financial situation IMO. As you said, no one can fault her for having financial problems because we’ve all been there. But, she should have let you or your Maid/Matron of Honor know asap that she couldn’t perform the things that were expected of her. It isn’t as if she was saying she didn’t want to, but it would have been nice for a head’s up. If this were me, I would stop the gossip train now. IMO your Fiance has a point as a group of women who are all a little ticked off can easily turn sour and fast. So, to make sure that no more negativity rains down on your shower, I would sit your mom, sisters, and Maid/Matron of Honor down and let them know to stop any discussion of the financial details involving your Future Sister-In-Law. Your mom graciously offered to pay her share and frankly, that should have been the end of it. Let the happiness of your event shine and get rid of the whispering and I think it will turn out just fine.

Post # 8
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

No real advice here, but just breathe. Everything will work out. I would tell your Maid/Matron of Honor that you do not want to hear anything else going on about the shower. They need to figure it out. Future Sister-In-Law can contribute in other ways if she doesn’t have the money.

Post # 10
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Crisark: Breathe and know that everything is going to be alright. Im sure she is trying to juggle a newborn, another child, her husband, work and her bridal duties.

Post # 11
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Crisark: I’m so sorry =(

No one should have such bad feelings about the bridal shower. It is the one thing in my mind that is truly about the bride. Don’t let yourself be stressed about it.

Post # 12
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think at the end of the day, you need to think about if you picked her for a bridesmaid because of what she could offer you or did you pick her because you love her and want her to stand with you at your wedding.

I think the answer to that should really help you think about how to react to all of this.

 

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