(Closed) Almost to my breaking point….please give opinions

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 18
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

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@yelhsa439:

I agree with Moose 100%- I would RUN!!! Any man that can’t stand with me against the Monster-In-Law would be OUT in my book-because SHE WILL CONTROL your entire LIVES!!!  If he WILL stand up for YOU, then I would have him tell his mother to do what Moose said: either she calls everyone and tells them that ONLY those invited ARE Actually Invited, or she Ponies up and PAYS for the extras that show-If your venue ACTUALLY has the space, and you don’t have to pay for more expenses. 

Post # 19
Member
10360 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Sounds like she is going to freak out no matter what you do, so you should simply do what YOU want. There’s no making her happy. And if she doesn’t come to the wedding, it sounds like that would actually be EASIER on everyone. My mom had some similar freakouts, and we stood our ground. It was important to us to establish boundaries as a new family unit with her. She needed to understand that just because I am her child does not mean that I will blindly do whatever she tells me to do. Fiance and I make decisions together, evaluate the situation, do what seems best – which may or may not be what she wants us to do. Good luck!

Post # 20
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You need to have a little come to Jesus chat with your fiance. I understand he’s laid back and I totally get this kind of crazy Mother-In-Law. You need to address this in private with him. He needs to understand that you two are a family now and he needs to protect you. Even from his mother. Then he needs to be tasked with handling her and getting rid of the extra guests. You can be kind while saying all of this, but it has to be said. That woman is his to keep under control and he may not realize yet that it’s his job. So you need to tell him.

After that’s done, I’d ignore her. Like seriously, just don’t deal with her. Let him cut the extra guests and let him deal with the fallout. And if she goes all psycho haywire on you, just walk away. Even psychomom has a hard time throwing a hissyfit with no one paying attention.

Post # 21
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

She sounds like she is being quite unreasonable and immature. I would sit her down and attempt to talk to her civilly. If that doesn’t work though, just tell her that you can’t please everyone.

Post # 23
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

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@yelhsa439:

Yeah! She is ridiculous!!!  And I am a mom and MIL!!!  I sure hope that Fiance stands up to her for your sake!  I hope that she is not going to RUN your lives!!!

Post # 25
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Tell her either she cuts guests or you do 🙂

Sounds like you need to stand your ground on this one – well done to your Fiance for standing up for you!  Good luck!

Post # 26
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I totally understand your situation! I have a feeling I will be dealing with something similiar when she hands over the final guest list to us (my parents are paying and she thinks she is in charge?) I would tell her that everyone had to cut people out and you only want people at YOUR WEDDING that care about you and know you well enough to want to be there. GOOD LUCK

Post # 27
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

One thing you should do right off the bat is have your Fi call everyone who is inviting extra people and telling them that you can only accommodate who the invitation was addressed to.  Follow up with an email confirming this if you can, and keep track of how your numbers are falling.  Keep her out of it entirely.

Post # 28
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@MrsLongcoatPeacoat: This is a really old thread. They have (hopefully) been married for about 7 months now…

The topic ‘Almost to my breaking point….please give opinions’ is closed to new replies.

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