- 10 years ago
I’ve seen several posts similar to this, but nothing that really answers my questions specifically.
I am not engaged yet, but my boyfriend and I started basic planning for the wedding a year or so ago. Now that he has a full-time job, we’re looking at getting engaged within the next couple of months, and getting married before the end of 2012. Hoping for December 1st.
My mother has already started arguing with me over plans. She is the one to bring them up, then either tells me I’m wrong when I tell her what I’ve planned, or just blatantly tells me to change them. She is paying, but some things we have argued about have nothing to do with money.
I have a 7-year-old cousin who I would want to be my flower girl, but my boyfriend really wants his 2-year-old to be a part of the wedding. I want them to both be flower girls, and walk together down the aisle. My mother told me that I’m not “allowed” to do this, and that my cousin will be my only flower girl. She didn’t even entertain the idea of having dual flower girls. There would be no extra cost, and I feel like it should be my decision.
My mother has also told me that she doesn’t want me to invite ANYONE who is not related to me or my boyfriend. I told her that I want to invite my closest friends, but she tells me that since she is paying, I can’t. I have 12 friends I want to invite. I feel that 12 is not a large number, and I am willing to pay for their food myself. If I do not have any friends at my own wedding, the majority of my guests will be young cousins, and I don’t feel that I will enjoy the reception the same way as I would with guests my own age.
My mother has also told me that if she goes dress shopping with me, she cannot censor herself, and will tell me exactly how she thinks I look in each one. I told her truthfully that I would rather her not, since she is very blunt and harsh with her physical critique of me, and I feel it would ruin the shopping experience for me. She will not be paying for the dress, but insists on coming with me, and telling me if I look “terrible” (her words, not mine.)
What do I do?