(Closed) Already dealing with backlash on my secular ceremony. I need support, bees!

posted 8 years ago in Secular
Post # 47
37 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

@S.Elizabeth.G:  My fiance and I atheists and are having a completely secular ceremony. The hardest part of our ceremony planning was finding an “officiant”, because in my state the only people who can marry you are priests/pastors, other people ordaned through a church (read: freinds who get ordanced online), or judges/mayors. I don’t personally know a judge or mayor, so what we finally decided to do was get legally married the day before in a courthouse, prior to the rehearsal. This will be a quiet event for just my FH and I, and will literally involve stating our intent and signing papers.

The next day, our actual wedding day, we’re having a full ceremony with a friend “officiating”, but she will not have been ordaned through a church. This is where we’ll do ring exchange, etc.

To fill time, we are having a reading, a description of what marriage means to us, vows, and ring exchange.

My cousin and her new husband are also non-religious, but had less strong feelings about their officiant being ordaned through a church, so they just used their DJ (it was apparently an optional part of the package? he did a good job). However, she has awful “stage fright” so they didn’t do anything to “fill space” and their ceremony took 2 minutes.

Basically, I think you can do whatever you want with your ceremony, whatever describes you as a couple. Your parents and loved ones aren’t the ones getting married, so it’s really none of their business what you do or say in your ceremony. When people have asked me what we’re doing, I have respectfully stated that an un-ordaned friend is speaking and we’ll be legally married in a courthouse prior to the ceremony, and no one has challenged this.

Hugs, be strong, and stay true to your heart!

Post # 48
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We loved how our ceremony was handled.  A friend of ours who was a mutual co-worker that has been an officiant for one of the tour companies here in Las Vegas, performed our ceremony.  She gave us some text that she often liked to use, and allowed us to alter it in our own creative ways.  We also added in a little bit of a surprise “icebreaker” for the beginning of our ceremony.  Anyone who has seen the movie The Princess Bride, knows the “Mawwage” wedding scene.  The priests words?  We used that at the very beginning of our ceremony.  Most of the guests got it and started giggling and busted into belly laughs.. it was great and got everyone relaxed and smiling!  


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