(Closed) Already getting when is the date question…

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

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beegirl1989 :  People will continue to ask! I didn’t even think about planning until 3 months after my (now) husband proposed, so I was just honest and said I had not begun to plan or set a date yet. I also knew that we were planning to have something small (like immediate family only) but there was no need to really get into that. Not everyone is entitled to that information so only give as much as you feel comfortable with sharing at this time 🙂 Happy planning!

Post # 3
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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beegirl1989 :  Just because they ask the date doesn’t mean they are expecting an invite. People are sometimes just curious/trying to make conversation. 

Post # 4
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

When we called family and friends about an hour after the proposal, nearly everyone asked if we’d set a date yet. I was seriously surprised by how many people expected us to already know! 

Our answer has been pretty much, “We haven’t decided on anything yet because we are just enjoying being engaged for the time being, but we will likely have a long engagement and a small wedding. Thanks so much for your well wishes!!”

Post # 5
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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beevincent18 :  +1. It’s the natural trajectory of the ‘we’re getting married’ conversation. Same with when/if you get pregnant. When you tell people they will respond with ‘when are you due?’, quickly followed by questions about baby’s sex and baby names. 

If you’re worried about people wanting an invite I agree with PP, just say you haven’t figured it out yet. 

Post # 6
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

When we didn’t have a date I just said “Oh, I don’t know yet” once we had that date,  I just said “April” 

Post # 7
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

Distant co-workers and strangers I barely knew asked me when the wedding was. It’s basic small talk. 

Post # 8
Member
3848 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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beegirl1989 :  Just tell them the month and change the subject.  It sounds to me as if they are expressing polite interest, not necessarily fishing for an invitation.

Post # 10
Member
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

I don’t see what the big deal is.  They are probably making conversation.  It’s a natural follow up when people find out you are engaged.  Just because you tell them the date doesn’t mean they think that means they are invited.  

Post # 11
Member
1033 posts
Bumble bee

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beegirl1989: sometimes people just ask to be polite. Don’t assume everyone is trying to secure their invite 

Post # 12
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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beegirl1989 :  I still don’t think they’re necessarily digging for an invite, no matter who you are lol. Engagements are exciting and can cause people who don’t normally reach out to reach out for congrats and small talk.

Either way, I don’t understand the big deal. I am having a wedding roughly the same size as yours and we have had a couple people straight up ask if they’re getting an invite. I just tell them unfortnately not, we are having a smaller guest list. Honesty is key. None of them have been pissed off, people are actually pretty understanding because weddings are so expensive. 

Post # 13
Member
644 posts
Busy bee

People are probably just trying to make small talk.  If you haven’t picked a date yet, just tell them so. “We’re still deciding, and since we want an intimate wedding, we have a lot of venues to visit.”  That way, you get the “SMALL WEDDING” idea circulating without hurting feelings… people will understand that there’s a limit to invites. 

Post # 14
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I tell people that we arent sure of the details yet, but will be having a very intimate wedding. 

The topic ‘Already getting when is the date question…’ is closed to new replies.

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