Post # 46
- Wedding: A restaurant on the beach
rainpeliever: So much this! Some people have their heads stuck so far up their own asses that they fail to realize that marriage customs are heavily dependent on one’s culture. Just because they do not recognize the difference between a legal marriage (essentially signing a document) and a religious marriage/ceremony does not mean it doesn’t exist. IT is all very subject. For example, I think being offended by lack of a gift is tacky and greedy. However I acknowledge that others may feel entitled to gifts.
Post # 47
rfs23: I totally agree with your viewpoints, but you are questioning why someone would need to go through the legality of marriage if the ceremony was all that was important to them. While I wish this was true, it’s not always the case given the circumstance. Here is an example of why-
My fiancé are both Orthodox and it is very important to both of us that we get married in the Orthodox church because this is what constitutes a marriage ceremony to the both of us. Being married in our house of worship by priests (mine and his) both of which we have known since childhood are just two of the things that we value about this. Also, having the people we love and who love us there to celebrate our union as husband and wife is the other part of it. HOWEVER, this would not at all be possible because the church has their hands tied by the government due to the tax exemptions they receive, which are paramount to their livelihood. So, without a license, couples may not get marriage in the church. This is exactly why the church and state should not intertwine the way they do, and unfortunately, the government is so money hungry that there is no way in hell they are going to stop the need for marriage licenses because that is a major source of revenue for them.
Post # 48
SlyVixen: No, I must not have been clear — I’m not at all questioning why someone would need the legal piece if they have a ceremony. I was saying that just because someone has already completed the legal piece, that doesn’t remove the meaning from the ceremony, since the ceremony’s purpose is so much more than just making a marriage legally recognized.
Post # 49
stuckinwonderland: “I’m not sure why anyone who claims they don’t care what anyone else thinks bothers having a reception at all. If you have such little regard for people in general, seems pretty pointless to invite them to your wedding“
Yes, I get your point. I think the OP is ok as she said she will be honest with all and doesn’t care about gifts.. But for others who hide the fact that they’re already married is dishonest. Friends and family can still witness a vow renewal ceremony, it can still be blessed by the church, but to actually lie and pretend, sorry but thats just shady.
Post # 50
rfs23: yes! I’m with you on this. Some people just dont get that.
Post # 51
Some people have to get married legally before the ceremony. I’m one of those people, I’m marrying a Brit and we are getting married in Mexico so for green card reasons, I have to. So it depends on you reasoning if you just got married legally for no good reason then I think it’s a bit bad taste. But it really depends, if you’re telling everyone do what you want honestly. I’m not telling my mom because she plain doesn’t understand that we have to apply for a visa to get married and get married within a 90 day window. Some people forget that not everyone has simple situations, not everyone has the same beliefs and not everyone has the same “moral” compass. It’s what YOU can live with.
Post # 52
I eloped to Vegas with my hubby, three years later we had a blowout wedding. In the preceding weeks I had a shower and a bachelorette. It was wonderful and EVERYONE had a blast. Most people knew we were already married, we had a religous ceremony and a formal reception, six bridesmaids the whole shebang. My extended family on my Mom’s side didn’t know and we didn’t advertise. I would totally recommend it, I’m so happy we did it! I really don’t think people care. My cousin had her church service the day before for immediate fam only, we were fine with it. Several of my friends have done this for various reasons. I think it plays into lives especially as an older bride because life happens and you can’t always do things in a “plan A” fashion. Live your life, don’t worry about telling anyone anything. Have your dream day, enjoy yourself life is short make the most of the moments you can celebrate, they are often few and far between.