Already overwhelmed, haven't been engagement for a month!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

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bekahbeee :  So we did a super small simple wedding but my husband also wanted to be included and then would “not like” things when they were the only viable option. I had a talk and laid it out for him that if there were a few good options I would give him those… but sometimes the one option I gave was the only (available/affordable/etc) option so I wasnt trying to overrule him… but those ones kind of were what they were. 

Post # 3
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

I felt the same way at the beginning. It’s very overwhelming at the beginning but once you have the major things locked down it gets easier. We are 6 months into our engagement and I would say the first 2 months were on the stressful side and the past 4 months have been easy breezy!

Post # 4
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

My advice would be, decide which things YOU care about most and which things HE cares about most, then each of you be responsible for researching the options on your list.

Post # 5
Member
1097 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I had a full blown left work early crying meltdown a week after we got engaged because of everyone (I.e my mother) forcing opinions on us. Then I had it OUT with my mother and my dad cried which pretty much made me feel like the shittiest human on planet earth. And then we were able to move on. Lol stuff just had to get “expressed” and then we were more or less okay. Take a deep breath, have a good cry, and step back until you know what YOU want

Post # 6
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

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bekahbeee :  dont be so hard on yourself. I know that sometimes a newly engaged couple feels like they need to book everything at once. I understand that things do get booked quickly. It also sucks that eveyone expects the newly engaged couple to know everything about their upcoming wedding already. I am also a super planner, detail oriented and organized. My advice is take a step back, enjoy being engaged and being over the moon! Tell your fiance that you both need to dedicate time on your off days (when he is not working 11 hours and on his farm) to discuss all things weddings and make a decision venues and vendors. 

Post # 7
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I had a panic attack when we started visiting venues.  I am doing my best not to talk about the wedding so that others don’t feel they need to give their opinion.  

Post # 8
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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bekahbeee :  I’m a super planner too and I planned a very low-key wedding and it was still pretty stressful! I agree with PPs who said the beginning was the hardest and it sowly got better over time as I kept knocking things off the list.

I first created a master sheet with due dates and assigned myself or FH (or both) to different activities and kept updating it as I went along. I had to follow up quite a bit with FH.

I’d suggest splitting up most of the things into two lists based on stuff you really care about vs. stuff he cares about and each of you focus on your own activities and reconvene every weekend to discuss the progress. At the same time, get inputs from the other person as and when you’re working on it. If something was assigned to me, I’d come up with suggestions and get his inputs.. Vice versa for things assigned to him. 

Post # 10
Member
860 posts
Busy bee

I feel exactly the same, compounded with the fact that we are doing very short notice. We are doing something very small but there’s still way more odds and ends than you would think. 

I 200% feel you on the fiance thing. My fiance is a golf pro so super busy right now, and he does the same thing. I understood when I suggested this date that it would mean I do most of the “heavy lifting” planning, which I was happy with in order to have the wedding this year instead of next, but still, sometimes I spend all my free time looking up the best options for something then he’s casually like, What if we invite 3 times as many people. And then I have a stroke lmao.

 

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