(Closed) Already planning my engagement

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Speaking as a young bride myself, I think that when you are young you need to take that extra time to know what you want in life. That said, taking at least 4 years like you said would cover that. I know how it feels to just want to be engaged and if it feels right to you in November I’d go for it! 

Post # 4
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think you are rushing it, but keep in mind there is no real reason to get engaged so early.  My Fiance and I met in college when he was 21 and I was 19, and we waited 2.5 years to get engaged, just after we both graduated.  However it is all personal preference– i wanted to plan a wedding once we were engaged, not wait several years.  We did enjoy just “dating” those years, but we knew we wanted to get married eventually!

Post # 5
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

If you guys are ready for it, I’d say go for it.  You’re going to have plenty of time to save up for a wedding.  On the other hand, my SO and I aren’t getting engaged until after we have both graduated.  He’ll have a job lined up (I’m probably doing grad school after), so while we won’t be 100% financially stable, we’re going to be on our way there.

Post # 6
224 posts
Helper bee

Personally, i would wait.

I met my SO when we were both still at Uni and after 5 months together we decided we’d move in with each other. We moved in 9 months later so we’d been together over a year, and it was a nice step without being too much whilst we were still quite young (I was 21, he was 20).

We’ve been together almost 4 years now and we’re just about at engagement stage. As much as I would have loved it sooner, it makes so much more sense to get engaged and THEN start planning a wedding – rather than getting engaged to then wait 4 years before getting married.

My biggest thing about this though is that I know people who got engaged at a young age and they’re still not making the next step to get married. And I can’t help but feel like their relationship is at a standstill. It’s not moving forward like mine is, it’s at the constant stage of ‘engaged’ and has been for over 5 years!

And my biggest fear EVER would be to get engaged and then say in 4 years “so! when should we set the date for?” and for him to be like “erm….. i don’t think I’m ready for that just yet!”

My SO if just about ready to get engaged now – and we talked about marriage when we first got together.

I guess I’m just a bit funny about rushing into something so serious before you have chance to know each other a little more.

Post # 7
812 posts
Busy bee

Personally I think when you know you know. I think it’s good that you’re planning to wait to get married though – just because getting jobs etc might not be so easy and is a huge stress without planning a wedding too. I wish you a lot of luck 🙂

Post # 9
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I don’t think you’re rushing, you’ve got a reasonable timeline, and if you know now you want to be together forever why wait? 🙂 

Post # 11
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I say do what feels right, but what’s the hurry? If you’re going to be together forever than you have a looot of time ahead of you for all this. 🙂 That said, if you are going to wait 4 years anyway, that’s plenty of time.

Post # 12
1544 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think its too soon to be certain about each other. I was certain about my fiance after a week of dating. Marriage was always in our future. But I will say that actually getting engaged and serious boyfriend don’t really make a big difference.The only difference it makes is the way other people see you. I met him a few month after i turned 20. Now we have been together for just under 3 1/2 years and we’ve lived together for 1 1/2 years and i’m much more confident.

I can tell you from experience that I know how you feel. And you may be right… You guys may be perfect for each other. 3 1/2 years has proved that for me. But I tell you after all the stuff i’ve been through with my fiance… I am SOOO glad it all happened when we were dating. You have to get past the new relationship jitters and settle into a real life together before you can be sure. 3 months is ALOT different then 3 years. It doesn’t mean I love him any less it just means that I know its real. I wouldn’t have wanted to go through those rough times when we were married or even engaged. Now we got past it and settled into each other and thats when I got the ring… its a fresh start.Actually if i was engaged the entire time it would have taken all the fun out of being engaged.

Don’t rush the engagement…. you know you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, theres no point in rushing it.

My recomendation…. get promise rings for each other… Thats what we did. Make a promise to each other and have the symbol of your love there without the actual engagement. Its sort of like a pre- engagement ring.

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