(Closed) Alright, gift ettiquette question

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Each couple should bring a gift. If the bride wasn’t aware of the etiquette rules of sending invitations that is one thing but I think each couple should bring a gift or give money. I guess the only way that would be okay is instead of lets say giving $200 each couple, you all give a card that has $600 inside.

Also, do you know if you were invited? If the invite was just sent to your FI’s parents and you didn’t see the invite or ever met the couple, maybe it wasn’t for the whole family. Someone should find out before the 6 of you show up when there are only seats for 2.

Post # 4
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Would you contribute to the gift or would it really be a gift from two people with the names of 6 people?

If you can afford your own gift, I would give your own gift (or at least make sure the one gift was substantial).  I don’t know if this is proper etiquette, but that is what I would do.

Post # 6
1696 posts
Bumble bee

You can go in on a gift with the other couples if you want to, but it has nothing to do with how many invitations were sent. Peggy Post to the contrary — whose great-grandmama-in-law Emily would have apoplexy over some of the things promulgated by the Post Institute if she weren’t already dead — there is no gift-obligation incurred by receiving an invitation , not even if you choose to accept it. Gifts are always optional — that’s why nicely-reared people appreciate them so unjudgementally.

So since it’s optional anyway, it’s optional whether or not to give a solo gift or a group gift, too.

Post # 7
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

generally if i’m invited with my parents, my parents give the big gift so i dont have to. 

like if a distant cousin invites me, i dont give a separate gift – my parents will give $800 or $1000 to cover our whole family


Post # 8
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think a $50 gift or contributing to a group gift is fine. My parent usually get a gift from the family as a whole. I would take to the others and see what they want to do. 

Post # 9
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

bring a gift each or 1 per couple.  it’s cheap and rude to give one gift for 6 people unless it’s of the value of 6 people.  Basic rule of thumb is every guest should contribute their own meal. 

Generally, my husband and i would put in about $100 each as this is an approximate value of reception per head. 



Post # 10
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s entirely personal preference. Guests give group gifts all the time where various people chip in to get one large/expensive gift and then sign the card from everyone in that group. It’s not rude to do so. Do what works best for your financial situation.

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