(Closed) Also a different kind of waiting

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Is there any way for you to move to where he is? I am a firm believer in "Love never fails." I am sure you guys can find a way to make it work. I wish you the BEST of luck.

Post # 5
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I’m worried that you two would still be apart indefinitely even after marriage. One of you is going to have to move eventually. Are you waiting for the economy to improve before you move, and if so, how long are you intending to wait? What if the economy doesn’t cooperate? How long will you wait then?

Unfortunately you can’t control the economy, and I think waiting for these outside factors to fall into place (economy, grad school, jobs, etc.) is part of what’s hurting you. If you are doing pretty well financially, can you save money to finance a move for one of you and cover a period of unemployment? You mentioned starting a family; did you intend both of you to work during that period? If not, a one-income lifestyle might be not so far into your future, and this would be without the expense of a baby at first. In terms of job hunting, it is much easier to find a job in the city in which you’re living. Companies don’t want to hire people who have to relocate. Network with people at your current jobs to find out who they know in your respective cities.

It might not be the most responsible thing to leave a job in this economy, but there are some decisions that are going to be hard to make no matter when you make them and you have to evaluate if it’s worth it to you. There is no best time for this. Since you are unhappy apart, I think you need to make concrete plans to be together before you worry about getting married. Good luck to both of you 🙂

Post # 6
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

If it really is just the job factor holding you back from getting married, then I say go ahead and get hitched!

My aunt & uncle lived apart for almost a full year after their wedding while she tried to find a job where he lived. They’ve been haapily web for 10 years now.

And a good friend and his wife currently live in two seperate cities while she finished off her PhD during their first year of marriage.

It can work!

 

Post # 7
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I quit my job and moved 2,000 miles across the country to be with my guy. It took me seven months to find a new job, but guess what? Not only are we happily and physically together again, but my new job pays me more than double what my old one did! (I moved instead of him because he makes more and has better benefits than I did.) We did the long-distance thing for about two years prior, so I know what it can be like. I would recommend setting a time limit on how long you are willing to wait things out before making a decision on who moves. Develop your game plan and be sure you are both on the same page. If you are both doing well financially, then one person supporting the other for a while should be worth it since you’ll actually be together then.

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