Post # 1
Hi bees! So, our wedding is coming up here soon and all along I haven’t been real excited about the bridal shower (I have a good amount of anxiety and that is just one more thing where it’s about me/us) but I’ve sort of just let the idea linger hopefully my mom (who is most excited) would just sort of bail on the idea because we have so much going on besides wedding stuff.
Regardless, everyone (mainly momma bear) is dead set on me having a bridal shower. I told my mom that I’ll give in and stop being a baby if she works with me some and tries to find a way not to make it about gifts. I am not very worried about getting gifts, we have lived together for about two years and have plenty of stuff, we do have a registery but we mainly did that incase people felt like doing that instead of money for the actual wedding. I’d much rather just be with people that love me and talk to them and maybe play some fun games. I threw out the idea that in lieu of gifts, their favorite bottle of wine that my fiance and I could try out together but mom isn’t very pro-alcohol which then I threw out the idea of their favorite recipes.
What are some other options we could do? Also, how should we go about making sure everyone gets the memo in a nice friendly way? Thanks for help in advance! 🙂
Post # 2
- She could host a recipe shower. Each guest is mailed a recipe card along with the invitation and asked to share one of their favorite recipes. Sometimes the idea is extended to including the staple or pantry ingredients to make the recipe.
- A variation of the first idea is for guests to share their recipe for marriage.
- You could have a date night shower. Each guest prepares a basket for date night e.g a movie, popcorn and hot chocolate.
- A honeymoon shower- guests bring items to suit the honeymoon choice like sunscreen, flip flops for a beach
The following ideas are more controversial. Some people will say that if you don’t need “things”, you should not have a shower, instead choose a brunch or luncheon.
- You could invite the guests to bring something for a local animal shelter instead of gifts for you- pet food, blankets etc
- You could choose to donate gifts to a Habitat for Humanity family or refugee family who do need those traditional shower gifts
- Guests can bring gifts for the bride’s hobbies- wool for knitting, paper etc for scrapbooking
Post # 3
Thank you for your input! I like the date night idea, part of it is in my anxiety too. It is not just because I don’t “need things” it is also because of the anxiety of sitting there while everyone watches me open gifts.
Post # 4
You will find that, in fact, not everyone will be watching you. Often they will be chatting amongst themselves, take a cursory glance when you display and ooh and ah over the gift, then go back to their conversation.
Have your Maid/Matron of Honor or one of the BM’s sit beside you, not only to make a list of the gifts and write what the gift was on the back of the card, but also to have someone to feel comfortable with and to make those offhand comments to.
Post # 5
I usually have no problem with being the center of attention but I found gift opening at my shower super uncomfortable. I think it was because none of it was really a surprise- I had, after all, registered for almost all of the gifts.
My Maid/Matron of Honor did the recipe card in the invitation thing. Almost no one came prepared (but that might vary by family), but she did have extras on hand and people used those. I got some good recipes including family recipes I specifically requested. People were encouraged to do more than one and we used the cards to pull for raffle prizes. Unfortunately the first two “winners” were joke recipes (my friend’s recipe for a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and my sister’s mac & cheese recipe that began with “Open box of Kraft mac & cheese…”) lol. But all in all- I’m in love with my pretty recipe box with recipes handwritten by people I love. It’s something I’m going to treasure for years I’m sure.
Post # 6
Thank you for your input!! I probably will have a couple jokes too… haha 🙂 I think we’re going do the recipes!
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2018 - Family Ranch
If you have anxiety over everyone watching you open gifts and do the whole BINGO game, have them bring non wrapped gifts and maybe a couples shower? Little more informal and less pressure! You can mingle and have yard games, along with some other bridal games (toilet paper dresses and you judge them, purse game, etc) and snacks and still be able to get gifts but not be so much pressure!
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2017 - Sunset Beach Resort, Siesta Key
Ahhh this was me! I did NOT want a shower and I made it very clear to everyone. Of course, that didn’t stop anyone. But they ended up doing a very small bridal “luncheon” at a beautiful tea room where we had some campagne, light snacks and just chatted.
In the end, it felt really nice and I was so grateful for the love. But believe me….a LOT of anxiety came prior.
Never thought I would say this with how much I refused, but try to enjoy the love that everyone is sending your way right now.