Post # 1
I know that approximatly 20% of people you invite don’t come but I’m really kind of sad who they’ve turned out to be and the reason’s why.
My one and only uncle isn’t coming. He’s out of town so I wasn’t surprised but still sad. Some friends of my parents aren’t but live in town. One of my bosses isn’t although he has gone to several other employee weddings. Finally, I love the comment from one guest (my mom’s cousin who lives in town). They couldn’t come because they have 2 other “closer” family weddings that day. Ok that may be true but did you really have to say that? We aren’t close enough to matter? And did you really have to say that?
I know that the people that truly care about us will be there, but it doesn’t keep the feelings from being hurt slightly. 🙁
Post # 3
I know exactly how you feel. It really sucks.
One of my closest friends declined because her husband couldn’t get the day off work. This is the same friend I helped move until 2am on a weeknight when I had to be at work by 8 and drove to the airport at 3 am on another occasion.
One of DH’s aunts had RSVP’d yes, then a week before the wedding called and said that she was going to attend her neice’s dance recital then attend someone else’s anniversary party instead. It was the only member of FIL’s family who would have attended.
At the time it really hurt, but on the day you will be surrounded by a lot of people who love you, and you won’t even get a chance to spend a lot of time with each guest.
Congrats, and hope you have a wonderful day!
Post # 4
@missbumblebee: No one from FI’s side RSVPed for my shower! I didn’t expect everyone to make it, but that’s kind of hurtful. I’m really close with some of them too. I’m shocked. I can only imagine the wedding.
Post # 5
I also get a little sad about some of the declines we’ve been getting. Most are declines for reasons that cant be helped, but it still kind of is upsetting. But I’m trying to just keep in mind that the people who will be there really love us. And many of the people that are coming are really making a huge effort to get there (fiances family is flying from the other side of the world, we have friends that are driving 15 hours to come, etc). And it will be such an awesome weekend no matter what.
Post # 6
Oh people arent nice sometimes. My uncles wife decided not to come to my wedding and never bothered telling my mother or I about it. We went to Italy for there wedding (which was a little bit of a nightmare). We were just happy my dad could make it and his cancer treatments where worked around the wedding date.
Post # 7
I know what you mean, OP. I decided not to put an RSVP on our invite (we only invited 100 people) because they’re all very close friends and family and we will have spoken to/will be speaking to all of them before the big day. Since mailing the invites, we’ve heard from quite a few people who can’t make it including BOTH of my step-dad’s siblings, my FI’s brother, my FI’s closest cousin (his best friend), among a handful of others.
I completely understand why they can’t make it, but every time I hear of someone not being able to come, my heart sinks a little.
Post # 8
my best friend and one of my bridesmaids cannot come, she got into a great grad program 10 hours away that starts two days before our wedding it is a completely valid reason but I cannot help being upset that she wont be there 🙁
Post # 9
I haven’t gotten RSVPs back yet (I’d have to send them out to get them back!) but I think I’ll feel exactly the same way. There are a lot of people that we are inviting because we’d like them to be there but know realistically that they probably won’t be able to. Even knowing all that and not expecting them to be there, I think I’ll still be sad when those no’s come in.
Post # 10
@missbumblebee: Aww I know the feeling!
Post # 11
I felt the same way. Alot of the reasons that people couldnt make it aren’t even legit reasons – “I couldn’t find a date” (you don’t need a date to attend, especially if there are going to be other people that you there without dates) and “I am starting to pack for our move” (move isn’t for a while). The hurt feeling eventually goes away…trust me!
Post # 12
I’m feeling the same. I’ve only gotten a portion of RSVPs back so far, but more than half are declines. All the declines are family members, some of who complained at Christmas when I said at the time we didn’t plan to have our wedding in America and they were upset they wouldn’t be able to come. So at great expense, we’re having our wedding in America. We’re travelling halfway around the world to come to them and they can’t even be bothered to take an afternoon off work and drive 30 minutes. I mean, why would I not feel offended by that? Especially because they all know this will be my last trip back to see them for the foreseeable future. Naturally, it makes me feel like they just don’t care.
Post # 13
my best childhood friend said no to my wedding and no to being my Maid/Matron of Honor becuase she should be in school ( bull*&^%) my wedding is august 25th next year and she even said no before we picked a date. i picked my FI’s little sister to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and she is more excited then i am. yes it really really hurt for her to say no before a date was picked but i’m more then happy with my current Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 14
@missbumblebee: I imagine I would be disappointed too, if I were having a big wedding (we plan to elope). Just try to think of it this way… your wedding is extremely important to you, but it’s ok for others to not place as much importance on it. It’s not a reflection on how they see you as a person or how much they care about you. For some people it’s simply just ‘another wedding’. Obviously it still sucks, but as long as these people are in your life and show you they care in other ways, then really it is only just one day of many that they will spend with you. Just try and distract yourself with planning and focus on the good times you’ll have with the people that will be there 🙂
Post # 15
My uncle also isn’t coming. His wife and children are, but since we have bad blood with that side of the family, I’m pretty convinved they aren’t going to show…leaving us with the tab for several no-shows at $150 a pop.
Some “no’s” are shocking, but mostly, we really need like 30 people not to come so we are excited every time we see them…especially if they weren’t on our presumed “not coming” list!