(Closed) ALWAYS a plus one for the wedding party? Exceptions for smaller wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1814 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I think that if a couple is in a long term committed relationship then they are invited. If they aren’t in a committed relationship they don’t get a plus one, that’s my opinion 

Post # 3
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I would not expect to be given a +1 if I wasn’t in a relationship. 

Post # 4
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
mrandmrsnunes :  Yes, I think it’s fine to only give plus-ones to couples who are in long-term relationships, living together, etc.  If someone isn’t in a serious relationship don’t worry about giving them a +1!

Post # 5
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
Siobhan713 :  Yes to this. One of my bridesmaids just got in a relationship but I pretty much said long-term relationships or living together only for a decent price per head. 

Post # 6
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

IMO, if they’re dating someone they should be invited. It shouldn’t be up to you to determine the seriousness of a relationship.

So, single – I say you could get away with not giving a plus one (although I wouldn’t do that personally). If they’re in a relationship of any kind, I say yes, give them a plus one. 

Post # 7
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I wouldn’t worry about it if they’re truly single. If they are in a relationship, I think you should invite their SO even if you think the relationship is new or not serious. It’s not the host’s job to judge the seriousness of their guests’ relationships.

Post # 8
Member
547 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
beautyandthebee :  I am in the camp of always giving the bridal party a plus one. However, in my experience, if the person in the bridal party does not have a SO, they don’t usually want to bring anyone.

I would just approach your single wedding party people and say, “Hey, we know it is generally customary to give members of the bridal party a plus-one. I know you aren’t currently seeing anyone. Were you expecting to bring someone to the wedding? If not, do you mind if we invite you without a plus one, as our wedding is very small?”

Your wedding party are the people closest to you, and usually the ones, besides you and your Fiance, who most want to see your wedding go on without a hitch. As a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would totally be comfortable having this convo!

Post # 9
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

Would the members of the wedding party who don’t have plus-ones know other people at the wedding (like are they family members or friends with the other wedding party, so they’ll have people they know to talk to)? You said they know people on the guest list, but are they actually close with these people? Even if they aren’t in a relationship, I think you should always give a plus-one to someone who won’t really know anyone there. If they are going to have plenty of people they know to talk to and hang out with at the reception though, then I don’t think it’s a necessity to give them a plus-one. It would be nice though, especially if they spent a decent amount of money on your wedding. 

Also, is 50 the max the venue can hold? Or the max you can afford? Or is that just a number you want to be under? Because realistically you will likely have at least a few declines, and even with only 50 people there, you won’t notice 4 extra people (that’s assuming they each brought a plus-one which they might not.) So if 50 is just an arbitrary number you would like to be under, but you could afford and have space to give the plus-ones, I would go ahead and do it. I like to err on the side of guest comfort and happiness, especially if it wouldn’t really affect you much. 

Post # 10
Member
524 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
beautyandthebee :  Generally speaking, I wouldn’t expect it if I wasn’t in a relationship, but you should extend it to them, after all they tend to do. especially the Bridesmaid or Best Man, since they do a bulk of things for brides (compared to groomsmen) LOL

Yes, it would be a shame to not invite people you want there. but we all cut the list. 

Post # 11
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

You do not need to give single people a plus one.  My rule was if they are dating somebody, I invited their partner by name.  So no “and guest” was written on my invitations.  

The wedding party will be busy on wedding day.  I talked to my single bridesmaids ahead of time and they said they wouldn’t want to bring a date anyway.  I would not worry about it!

 

Post # 12
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

If you haven’t met them, I wouldn’t extend the invite.

Post # 13
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I wouldn’t extend the plus one to anyone not in a committed relationship.  My FH brought me as his plus one to a wedding years ago, where even though we were together for 2 years at that point, he was the only person I knew there and he was a groomsman.  I spent the entire day alone.  I went to the wedding alone.  I waited in the hotel alone.  I ate the dinner alone.  By the time the wedding party was finished all their obligations, it was 9pm and I was back in the hotel getting undressed.  I really wouldn’t want to accidentally put anyone else through that, so it’s easier for the single people in the bridal party to not have a plus one.  

Post # 14
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I’m giving my one single bridesman a plus 1, but of my 4 people, 2 are married to each other, and one is my Maid/Matron of Honor who i’ve been best friends with for 10+ years.  But you can’t really go by what I’m doing because I invited 250 people to my wedding (huge I know…not my decision).  I would say don’t give them a plus one.  If they are truly your friends, they should already know your guest list dilema and be understanding.  If they aren’t, that says something about your friendship.

Post # 15
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

i know you said smaller wedding, but these days, small can be still be extravagant. 

if you’re expecting a lot of your wedding party (hotel fees, expensive hairdos, special shoes, destination wedding where they have to pay for a flight, fancy bachelorette/ bridal showers), give them a plus one.    if you’re going to expect a lot of the party (especially financially), it’s kinder to give them an option to spend the evening with a date. 

that said, you don’t “have” to give anyone a plus one… but please don’t be the couple that expects people to do a million things for “your special day”, but get stingy when it comes to what you should do for the comfort of others.

The topic ‘ALWAYS a plus one for the wedding party? Exceptions for smaller wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors