Always friends with benefitsposted 2 months ago in Relationships
- 2 months ago
What everyone has said about accepting the situation of friends with benefits and going along with it is quite true. What we tolerate, we perpetuate. And if you don’t want the situation any more, you need to stop participating in it. Yes, that may, and very likely will, mean that you lose these people. But you must consider that if that happens, you never really had them in the first place, not in the way you wanted them.
However, I think situations like these, which keep coming up in your life, warrant further and deeper reflection. Somewhere along the lines in your life, you internalised the idea that this was good enough for you, that you didn’t have the right to ask for, expect, or hold out for more. I strongly recommend that you look at this because if you don’t examine the beliefs which drive you to keep accepting certain behaviour or where those beliefs come from, you will find yourself unconsciously repeating the patterns.
How do you feel about yourself in general? Do you love, esteem and cherish yourself? What is your self-talk like? How do you feel about yourself in these relationships? These will give you some major clues.