Always looking for the next thing

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
11342 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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alrobinson :  

I have always wondered what that was about.  I feel like I have a split level mind and I have been multitasking long before anyone had ever heard of it.

Just sitting and watching TV or a movie is not possible for me.  I have to be reading or working on something.

I suspect these issues run deeper than anything that will be fixed just by taking extra vacations.  I’m not sure any of it needs fixing.  Some people just run at a higher mental megahertz in some ways, without being ADHD.

I can easily hyper focus and stay on what I’m doing for a very long time, sometimes too long.

A professor who taught both semesters of my MMPI class in grad school told me that some of us really do run at higher mental speeds.  She said those people will hate weed or any other depressant drugs (I do) and feel comfortable on stimulating drugs because the outer world will catch up to the inner.  

I would imagine that moving so often in childhood makes that your comfort zone.  We’re drawn to what’s familiar, healthy or not.

Now that I think of it, my worst fear in life is being trapped. That could explain my constant running away from one place to another, and my rather remarkable lack of relationship staying power until old age and inertia set in.

Post # 17
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

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alrobinson :  

Bear in mind that the desire to keep moving around and inability to settle can be a sign of deeper anxiety. If your parents moved you around a lot as a child and your dad was crazy, this is almost certainly the case. 

Try to work out to what extent your desire to move stems from a genuine curiosity and excitement about new places, and how much of it stems from anxiety that if you stay in one place too long, you may have to confront your demons. Running away physically is a very common physical manifestation of running away from deeper issues.

But I promise you, these issues can be worked through, and you will feel sooo much better, calmer when you do. A therapist may be able to help with that. 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to travel and see the world/country, but just make sure it’s coming from a healthy place and is good for you and your marriage.

Post # 18
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

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sassy411 :  

“A professor who taught both semesters of my MMPI class in grad school told me that some of us really do run at higher mental speeds.  She said those people will hate weed or any other depressant drugs (I do) and feel comfortable on stimulating drugs because the outer world will catch up to the inner.”

This is so interesting. I know that I definitely have a tendency to have my attention focused on many things simultaneously, and all at quite a deep level. I’m extremely sensitive to my environment so I cannot dull my senses or space out to the extent that many other people can. However, I’ve just come to see that that is a function of my mental speed and not something I can change.

I have definitely identified factors and ways of being that allow me to relax and be calm for fairly long periods of time though, and even though my brain is working during these times, it’s in a pleasant way. These times are a godsend for me because my brain just goes like a bloody work horse non-stop when I am focused on “doing” something.

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