- 10 years ago
I’m undercover again today (on a username I made for a completely different reason) because I don’t know who reads stuff on my regular handle, and this issue still isn’t yet widely known amongst the family.
Fiance got an email today from a cousin of his. We’ll call this cousin John. Our RSVP deadline is fast approaching, and we still hadn’t heard back from John and his wife, Jane. FI and I went to their wedding this past June. It was a gorgeous wedding with tons of people, amazing food, and a really beautiful Catholic ceremony. The bride was beautiful, and the two of them looked as happy as could be. It was my first time to meet both of them, and I didn’t get to speak with them much because they were busy, but they both seemed like wonderful people, and they both told me and Fiance how excited they were about our wedding next year. They should have just celebrated their six month anniversary.
Anyway, the email John sent Fiance today was incredibly shocking. He said that he thought he owed us an explanation for why he wouldn’t be coming to our wedding, even though we went to his and gave them such a generous gift.
John said that about two months ago, Jane decided that she did not love him and never had, and she no longer wanted to be married. She then “walked out of [his] life”. He says he’s only spoken with her twice since then. According to John, there were no warning signs, and that she just became happy and couldn’t “reconcile her feelings within the context of [their] marriage”. He says he still loves her, and he doesn’t believe in divorce. He promised to the 150 people at the wedding, to her family, to her, and to God to be her husband to the end. He’s just hoping she realizes that happiness must come from within. Right now, he said, he just can’t bear to face his family and answer their questions.
He finished his email with the words, “If you haven’t ever fought as a couple or talked about really tough issues please do it as soon as possible. Jane and I never raised our voices at each other, and then one day she just snapped. I lost her.”
Of course, Fiance and I have only heard one side of the story, but it sounds like everything just came out of the blue, and John was completely blindsided.
Ladies, please make sure you think about what you’re doing. Marriage is a commitment to the man you love for eternity. It’s not something you can enter into lightly. Make sure you and your SO talk through your problems (and that means you need to tell him when there’s a problem in the first place!). Consider the big issues before entering the marriage. Please, don’t become John and Jane.
I’m going to go to bed and just hold my Fiance now. 🙁