- 8 years ago
I am soooo glad I found this website, because I feel much less alone now.
I am 26, I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 years, we have lived together for 5 of those years. We have a great relationship, we seldom argue, when we do its about marriage. We are saving up for a down payment on our first place. We both have good jobs, no debt, no problems with the in laws. We have common intrests (hockey, camping, hiking ect) And I love him with ALL my heart.
Now heres my problem.
I woke up this morning to one of my bestfriends calls, and surprise shes engaged, and instead of being happy for her, I cry. why? Im not too sure why, maybe its because this is her second marriage, or maybe its because they have only been dating 1/4 of the time that I have been with my boyfriend.
Maybe because for the 4th time in 5 years I will be going wedding dress shopping, wearing another stupid ugly bridesmaid dress, licking envelopes, stuffing papers and all the crap that goes along with it.
I want to be happy for friends, i really do, but everytime someone gets engaged, married or has a baby, its like another knife in my heart. I dont know whats wrong with him, he says we will get married one day, but one day isnt good enough, I have put in 9 years into this relationship the least I deserve is a ring to show how much he cares. I have told him time and again that I am not fussy, My ring could cost $50 for all I care, I just want the proof that I am committed.
I gave him an ultimatium last year, that day has come and gone. I couldnt picture my life with out, and truth be told would probably never leave. But yet dont I deserve to be with someone who wants to marry me? Should he not know by now? Should I keep waiting?
I dunno sorry for rambling on im just soo sad :'(