- 7 years ago
I get so depressed whenever I see girls on here talking about how much money their parents are contributing to the wedding. My parents are contributing 0. Zero. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. You get it. I know that it is my wedding and blah, blah, blah. But, it just seems like so many people DO have the financial support of their parents. It kind of goes unsaid that the parents will help, normally. Before anyone gets all wound up and makes me feel any worse than I already do right now, let me explain a little.
My father is a crackhead. I hardly see him. I do not talk to him on a regular basis. There is no way I can fully depend on him to show up to my wedding, let alone pay for anything or support me in any other kind of way.
My mother has always struggled a bit as a single mom. However, in recent years, she’s done a lot better being in a relationship with someone who helps her financially. When my sister graduated in June, my mom spent upwards of $500 on a party (that was just my mom’s half of it). I find that funny, seeing as how my graduation party was at a relative’s house (free) with no decorations and my uncle paid for all of the food. A week before my sister graduated, my mom took my brother on a beach vacation for his birthday. She also gave him cash to go shopping with. I’d say she spent around $1000 on his birthday, alone. This past week, my mom spent about $600 on sending my brother to two summer camps he wanted to attend.
Today, my Future Mother-In-Law took me shopping and bought ALL of my candy buffet glassware. I felt so guilty that she bought that stuff for me and my mother has yet to contribute (she said she would). So, I texted my mom and said, “I was wondering if you could help me pay the balance on my dress?” Her reply was, “Well, how much is it? Because I’ve got to pay $400 to the gas company so we can get our heat re-connected for winter.”
I freaking knew it! At that point, I almost regretted asking her at all. I nearly burst into tears at the store I was in because I am sick of dealing with this constant guilt trip my mother puts on me. My dress was $233 total (with tax and all). I got it at a consignment store. So, it’s not like I’m saying, “Hey, come give me $1000!” I was just hoping she’d pay the remaining $200 on it. That is chump change compared to what Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law will be paying! It is less than half of what she paid to send my brother on summer trips! I felt like she just sent me that text to purposely make me feel like crap for asking for her help. We live in a southern inferno. Winter will not be here until early December. So, I know my mom doesn’t really plan on having her gas re-connected. She never does that until November, there’s no need to (the hot water and stove are powered with electricity, it’s weird).
It just hurts that my mom is constantly spending all kinds of money for my brother and sister. My sister works and is an adult, but she never pays for her own things. My mom does. Gladly. It doesn’t matter what I ask for (and it takes a severe situation for me to go to my mom for help) I get shot down.
So, my mom just texted me back and said she was going to give me $100. Which, I am extremely thankful for. However, I am going to be really humiliated when Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law end up paying for all of the food at my wedding reception AND paying for my entire after party (and probably the rehearsal dinner) while my mom just sits there.
Not sure if anyone can relate, but I feel really crappy right now.