Post # 1
Is anyone else just ready for her wedding to get here already? Throughout the whole engagement, my mother and his mother have disagreed on just about anything you can think of. Our parents are paying for the wedding, and my fiance and I so often just feel trapped and at the mercy of whatever they decide, yet we are often “in the middle.” It’s making me so bitter toward my future mother in law and lately, I’m just…tired.
A few examples:
I wanted a small formal wedding with no kids. I’m having a large wedding with little kids and even an infant (thanks to my FMIL).
I wanted a spring wedding. I’m getting married in July.
I am really shy and didn’t want to have a videographer. Guess what? I’m having one. My Future Mother-In-Law wants one. She is paying, though, but still…
There was even a fight over my SHOWER for goodness sakes! My Future Mother-In-Law (who didn’t want to have a shower for her side of the family and didn’t want to co-host) thought she could invite several dozen people (in addition to the 8 on my invite list) to the small shower that my sisters are throwing for me.
I know it’s only going to get worse between now and July. I just always thought this would be a happy time and it just seems to be one thing after another. My fiance is sick of it all and is at the point where he doesn’t even want to talk about the wedding and just wants to keep the peace at all costs.
Anyone else feel this way?
Post # 3
I’m sorry! I really thought that the planning process was so stressful. I didn’t enjoy it at all really and I was glad that it was over!
Post # 4
I’m so sorry! I’m definitely feeling like I need this to just be over, but my stress is all self-induced since I have no family involvement. I can only imagine that makes is so much worse! July will be here soon, and then you can just be happily married! Yay!
Post # 5
We’re wedding twins!
I wanted a small, spring wedding too, so I can definitely relate. I also had issues with my in-laws. The Fiance and I have found that it is sooo important to protect what we have because it’s easy for people to try to break that up or pit us against each other.
I hope you and your Fiance can overcome this together. Afterall, it’s your relationship that matters, not the size of the wedding or who comes to the shower.
Post # 6
Oh boy. I’m sorry you and your Fiance are going through this. But truth be told, the planning process is NOT as much fun as one would have imagined. I’m ready for it to be over too.
Post # 7
Some parts I enjoy, but mostly I really wish everything would just happen the way I want without dissent or drama.
It sucks that your Future Mother-In-Law is directing and using her financial aid as veto, but in the end, you have to remember that you’ll be married, which is forever, though there are months leading up to it, it really is just one day.
Try and focus on the things you like, and put your energy into those areas.
Post # 8
I’m so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. My planning process was by far the most stressful time in my life. I never thought you could lose so much weight from just being stressed out, but that was me. If you ever need to vent or talk about it, definitely PM me. My mom made everything a million times more difficult and my wedding wasn’t much of what I wanted. It was moreso everything that she wanted, and me just saying “fine” b/c I didn’t want another fight. Everything was a fight with her, and the day of, she stressed me out so much that I couldn’t enjoy my day. My honeymoon was by far the best time of my life b/c I was in a different country, and she couldn’t stress me out. It was wonderful.
I’m so sorry again, but stick with it…you’re almost there! Once the wedding is over, hopefully your stress level will drop dramatically.
Post # 9
I sympathize with you. I was thinking the other day that there’s something about weddings that just opens the door for people to butt into your business. Everyone asks such innocent questions and then responds to your answers with such strong, often contradictory opinions.
“you should have a band” “oh no, you’re getting a band?” “a band is a must” “who wants to dance to a band?” [just a few examples of various relatives opinions 🙂 ]
Absorbing all of the details and all of the opinions is totally exhausting. I just try to sort out what I care about and what doesn’t matter to me. Some recent examples: “No, I don’t care what color M&M’s you order for the shower or what favor boxes you pick”
So many of these stupid details don’t actually matter, so try & let go whenever possible. That’ll leave you with enough energy to stand up for the things that really matter to you.
Post # 10
Wedding triplets….? lol! We’re on July 17th as well.
I can’t really say I know what you’re going thru. I was never a girl who DREAMED about my wedding, etc… I knew somethings that I really wanted but nothing huge. Since planning, I’ve had a lot of fun and haven’t ran into many issues at all.
Post # 11
I agree! Although there hasn’t been drama here really, I am just so stinking tired of planning and worrying about all the little details and having nightmares that people will show up and think our wedding is stupid! Crazy, I know, but still, I understand.
I think more than anything I am just ready to be married, and so part of me just wants the wedding to be over, even though I am very excited about it.
Its stressful planning a wedding!