(Closed) Always thought we'd tell the world at 12w… 8w?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
7730 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

We told family and close friends after our first ultrasound looked good at 7 weeks. Then I miscarried at 11 weeks. It was ok, because the people I had told were the ones whose support I needed. I definitley would not announce on social media or tell work etc. prior to 12 weeks. With my two successful prior pregnancies I also waited 12 weeks. Miscarriage is very common, thankfully the  taboo is disappearing.

Post # 17
Member
9324 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I had an early mc and I personally am glad I didn’t tell anyone other than Darling Husband beforehand. With my successful pregnancy we waited until 13 weeks when we got our lab work results back.

People will still be excited at 12 weeks.

Post # 18
Member
9813 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

You can do whatever you want.  I told our parents, siblings, and friends early.  Some as early as 4 weeks.  But I wouldn’t mind telling them if something happened.  I did not tell work or put it anything about it on social media until 16-20weeks with my first and 12 weeks with my second.

Post # 19
Member
2872 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

We told our families with 5-6 weeks time, and I told my two coworkers that I sit next to just in case. All of our friends now, plus my Darling Husband told his whole work floor. As for our extended families/Facebook.. I still trying to wait as long as possible. We hit 12 weeks, but I’d like to wait another 4. I’m very private, and honestly don’t want to hear everyones thoughts and opinions.

Post # 20
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

fluffthoughts:  Unfortnately, my first two pregnancies ended in MC. With my second pregnancy, we thought for SURE it wouldn’t happen twice in a row, so we told a lot of people we were pregnant. It was awful telling people we lost the baby when we weren’t that close. With this pregnancy (I am currently 15 weeks), we still shared early with our closest family and friends, but we definitely didn’t share with anyone that we would want to share a loss with. It is a personal choice you must make. 

Post # 21
Member
1579 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

fluffthoughts:  Congrats!!!!

Besides family, who we told at 6 weeks, we waited until 11 weeks to start telling close friends and about 12 weeks to start telling other people.  I was just so worried about a possible miscarriage and to be honest, really nervous and terrified about the entire thing (even though we were “kinda trying”). 

Besides me being sick, I only really started to show at 17 weeks with tight tops and now at 24 weeks, I can easily still hide my just-now-a-bump with a looser shirt.  I know every woman is different, but it may be months before there’s any resemblance of a bump that would give you away. 

It’s all up to you.  My husband wanted to tell people right away, but I didn’t, so we waited and I appreciated that.  You do what feels best for you and your husband. 

(I also waited because I have multiple friends on FB that posted their baby news prior to that 12 week “out of the woods” mark and unfortunately, there have been a lot of miscarriage and/or “we lost the baby” posts following the announcement.  Pretty heartbreaking for everyone and I feel terrible that the poor mom has to either write something like that on her FB or continuously answer questions when people ask how the pregnancy is going. Just something to keep in mind, however crappy it is.)

Post # 22
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Just tell close friends and family! And don’t lie to anyone.. if someone asks, tell them.. but that doesnt mean you need to broadcast it on Facebook.. I got married when I was 8weeks, and we have a Destination Wedding, with 30 people there.. so everyone there (immediate family and close friends) knew, and my coworkers found out pretty quickly too since I have Hyperemesis.. But if someone asked I wouldnt lie, but again I didnt ‘annouce’ anything formally until Darling Husband and I annouced on Fathers Day last weekend (we’re 14 weeks now)

Post # 23
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

After a good scan at eight weeks with a heartbeat and the fetus measuring the right size, your statistical risk of miscarriage is pretty low. There’s one study that found the miscarriage rate to be 1.5% after a heartbeat was observed at eight weeks – see: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18310375. With that said, of course there’s always a risk – there’s a risk at 13 weeks, at 21 weeks, at 37 weeks and so on. It’s a really personal decision. The only real advice I have is don’t tell anyone you wouldn’t want to have to un-tell. 

Post # 24
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

Congrats!!

When to tell is a personal choice for everyone.  I am currently 12.5 weeks and only Darling Husband knows and we are super close to our parents and siblings.  Our thoughts behind it – we don’t want everyone to know just yet and we know our family wouldn’t be able to keep the secret because they would be too excited!  Also I am pretty private when it comes to people other than family (coworkers etc) and I feel like once people know it gives them the opportunities to share opinions whether or not you want them.  Not saying all opinions are bad but I would just like to eliminate the amount of time people are asking questions / giving opinions about parenting etc.  Pregnancy is overwhelming!  I have had a rough first trimester really bad morning sickness from 8-12 weeks so it has been hard to hide.  I have also struggled with wanting to tell everyone sometimes I feel like I am going to just yell it in the middle of a conversation.  We almost told after our scan at 8 weeks but then our second appointment was scheduled for 12.5 weeks (yesterday) and I felt like I’d rather go to one more appointment make sure I am out of the woods before sharing the news.  We will tell everyone a week from today I’ll be 13.5 weeks and the only reason we are holding off longer is because it will be my birthday and we have a good excuse to get both families together without it looking suspicious.  Sorry if this was a ramble I just wanted to explain my reasons for waiting!  But it is you decision do what you feel best!  It is challenging to wait but personally I am so happy that we did it has been a nice little secret between Dh and I.  It has also given us time to plan and process before sharing the news with anyone else.  Good luck!

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