- 6 years ago
So my sister asked me and my other sisters to be her bridesmaids about 9 months ago. I was quite reluctant to say yes because I have been a bridesmaid in the past and have dealt with rather full on brides, plus my sister is already one of the most unreasonable people I know. On top of that I knew I was going to be in for a really, really big year this year and also moving away (which I did remind her of when she asked me). I also knew that saying no would bring out her nasty side and she would stop talking to me altogether because that is how she deals with things.
To start with, I gave her all of my wedding magazines, took her to a bridal expo and went dress shopping and helped her pick her wedding dress. I always asked whether she needed me to do anything for her (which she always said she would let me know but never got back to me) and I always, always made sure that whenever I spoke to her it was about her wedding.
Anyways, my husband joined the defence force at the start of the year and had to go away for 10 weeks which left me on my own. To be honest I really struggled with it and really missed him. My sister was not supportive at all, never offered to be there for me at all, in the meantime I was trying to be there for her which was really hard. She asked me to come cake tasting with her and also to the florist but I couldn’t attend those for legitimate reasons which I told her.
After my husband was away for 10 weeks I ended up having to leave my job, pack up my house, move to another town 14 hours away, get a new job etc. Which was alot to all happen at once. Despite me being there for my sister I didn’t receive one ounce of support from her. No phone calls, no offers to help, even though my other sisters were there for me every step of the way. The only time I ended up hearing from my sister was when she would send demanding, rude messages about things she wanted me to buy etc.
When it came to her hens night I told her I was so, so sorry but after moving I was extremely low in funds and I could not afford to attend. She then didn’t talk to me for a couple of weeks until she sent me another rude message demanding something else. When it came to her hens night I wished her a really good night etc. but still nothing.
My other sister who is also a bridemaid had to have an operation before the wedding, and my sister (bride) got angry at her because she was suppose to have it after the wedding.
When it came to accommodation for the wedding, the place my sister wanted us to stay was to cost $540.00 for 2 nights which I really could not afford, still being low in funds I told her that we would arrange to stay somewhere cheaper which she was angry about. I then told her I would be up on the Friday night before the wedding as that was the earliest flight I could get which would mean I miss the rehearsal. Being so far away has made it really hard to follow what she wants done which I feel really bad about but there isn’t alot more I can do.
So 3 days before the wedding, I get a message saying “hair and makeup $180.00”. Originally she had told us that we would be paying for the dresses and shoes and she would pay for the hair and makeup so it came as a big shock. I then asked if it would be ok if I did my own makeup for the wedding to save costs. I then got a reply saying that a bridesmaids job is to help the bride, why did I agree to being bridesmaid in the first place and how unsupportive I have been the WHOLE time.
I am absolutely at my wits end. I am frustrated because I have know I have been there for her a lot more than what she is saying, how ungrateful she has been, and how unsupportive she has been towards me.
Can someone tell me, am I a bad bridesmaid or am I dealing with a bridezilla?