(Closed) Am I a bad friend?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

yeah I would be pretty mad.

One of my friends actually did this to me, she rsvped to my bachelorette party, then the day of told the Maid/Matron of Honor she was really sick. Little did she know I read her blog, and the blog that day was all about an film festival she went to that evening.

Only difference between your Maid/Matron of Honor and I is that I never confront people, I just file a mental note and put in less effort next time.

But at the end of the day, its not a tit for tat. It does not matter whether she was flaky etc etc, or how cheap her shower was. My shower was not expensive, it still meant alot to me that people came. You RSVPed for an event and failed to show up because something better came along.

I don’t think her Maid/Matron of Honor is acting as though she is in high school, her feelings are hurt, she needs time to cool down.

I would apologize to your Maid/Matron of Honor and try to make it up to her when she cools down.

Post # 81
4462 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

View original reply
@Cryssieshine:  Who were the other two people that you went with?

Post # 82
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I guess I’d have to agree that technically speaking, it was a rude thing to do, but that doesn’t make you a bad friend. Personally, if it were my shower, and my friend was a huge baseball fan, I’d tell her to go and have fun and eat a stadium dog for me. I do think she’soverreacting but I appear to be the minority.

All you can do is apologize and ask how you can make it up to her. If she’s decided this is some unforgivable offense then I’d have to conclude she takes herself a little too seriously. Good luck, OP.

Post # 83
4322 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Call her and explain, maybe? I have’nt read through the responses, but speaking does leaps and bounds better than emails and texting.

Post # 84
6734 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
@Cryssieshine:  I’d be pissed with her for you making her Maid/Matron of Honor and you’re not even in her bridal party!!!! LOL WTF.  Who does that??  SHE SUCKS.  You didn’t do ANYTHING wrong – someone gave you a thoughtful gift for YOU and YOUR Fiance to use.. and that’s what you did.  Sorry, too bad so sad for her that it happened to be on the same day as her shower.  Again, not her wedding, so it’s not a big deal.  She needs to shove it. 

Post # 85
1412 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I don’t agree with people here that say you were rude and wrong, especially because you were a guest to the party, not in the wedding party. I don’t think you should have broken your proverbial neck to make it to the shower either. You apologized, but if your grandfather gave you these tickets, then you  needed to have gone.


Just let her get over it and in the meantime, you might shop a new Maid/Matron of Honor.

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