- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
I have a bff who I been friends with since we were 12. I have always been the caring friend so even when Tina started ditching me and alienating me(and everyone else when she started dating her bf in high school and now husband) I stood by her. To this day she skips birthdays and other parties I throw yet she always seems to make everyone elses.
I am married now, and working on my last semester of school. Tina and I are both stay at home wives, she had her twins coming out of high school and got pregnant again last year, so her parents kicked them out of their home because they were tired of footing the bills. I had to work 2-3 jobs right after high school because my mom got sick and I wanted to help(treatment worked! so its all good now). I got behind on school but I have an awesome husband who helps pay most bills while I finish up. I take heavy course loads in order to finish and I moved 2 hours away from my hometown because of my husbands job. I commute an hour a day to school and luckily I have a scholarship that helps with gas and some other expenses but I am on a tight budget since I do not want to have to ask my husband for so much more money.
Tina constantly asks me to come over, visit and guilt trips me about not visiting her all the time. Today she asked if I could come sleep over because her husband is working all weekend but I have slept over in the past and it got weird when her husband came home at 3 am and refused to sleep on the couch. My husband(boyfriend at the time) thought it was weird that he came home early and that he would not be respectful enough to sleep on the couch. When I said no problem I’ll sleep on the couch, Tina was like no stay I’ll sleep in the middle. Luckily both her children woke up screaming at the same time and I escaped to the living room. When she asked me today I knew I did not want to.
Her children, as adorable as they may be, are very annoying. (I used to work at a daycare and I have amazing patience) They take my phone like literally take it, and try to download things. they pick at my makeup, open my purse, and she thinks it funny and says nothing.
I do feel like a bad friend because I do not want to sleep over and said no, but I honestly do have a bunch of projects due this week. I have not seen my mom in weeks (I do call her often but she understands that I really am busy). I haven’t hung out with a person or even spent that much time with my husband because of the heavy course load I have.
I do not know what to do anymore, am I a bad friend?
I will say she never offers to visit me even though she visits people all the time that live further away. From the beginning she has said, wish I could visit but I can’t cause i have kids. I wish my life was easy like yours. And I constantly have to tip toe around her because she gets upset when good things happen to me. like last year she said I got handed a trip to europe but really I paid for most of it and my mom helped cause of the years I helped support and pay off her medical bills. This year i am going to Greece because my husband saved up and surprised me for my birthday with tickets. (I have not shared this with her yet). I can’t even say “oh I am going to sleep because my strep throat is killing me” cause she says things like “I wish I could sleep around all day like you do” and she does not understand sarcasm so I know she isn’t being sarcastic.