- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
So I’m doing the anon thing since many of my family/friends know about my regular account and look at pictures on it.
As the title referenced, my best friend called me and dropped the “can I stay at your house til I find something permanent?” bomb on me.
Well really it was “can me and my boyfriend (whom I’ve never met before btw) come stay with you?”
Now let me throw in the fact that we’re all very young, but I have been married about a year and even though she’s one of my best friends, it’s because she’s a childhood friend going a long ways back. And some more background info, she’s a bit younger than me, lives with her mother currently, and also has children.
I avoided answering her directly for a bit by asking her questions about her situation. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to weasel out of helping her, but that’s what it ended up sounding like. Anyways, I asked her some questions and this is what i found out. basically she had been fighting with her mom about some things, one of those being that her mother wouldn’t let her Boyfriend or Best Friend come live with them there. They had also been fighting about money.
I straight up asked her “has your mother kicked you out of the house?” she said “well she told me she wants me to get my own place…she yells at me all the time…” finally she told me that no she hasn’t been kicked out.
However, her bf, who I didn’t even know she had, has nowhere to go and they were trying to get a place together but can’t afford it yet.
I didn’t tell her the truth, which was that I didn’t want some random man living with me and my husband. Instead I told her to stop fighting with her mom, stop calling everyone she knows looking for a place to stay, and stay there until she has the money to go out and get her own place, and to not become indebted to anybody over this kind of stuff.
The thing is I just feel SO BAD. I feel guilty, because I really would be there for her if she needed me, and if she called me and said “I just got kicked out and have nowhere to go” I would have her on my couch in a second, but her BF? No. And that wasn’t the case anyhow, I have a feeling she is fighting with her mom over her Boyfriend or Best Friend.
She was offering to pay me in food stamps, and that made me feel even worse. I just don’t know.
Do you think I did the right thing. I feel like I did, but I also feel still feel guilty. In the event that I’m njot oin the wrong, I was hoping for some vindication. I just feel like a bad friend.