(Closed) Am I a bad person? Or he doesn't love anymore?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Am I overreacting and he does love me?
    Yes, you are too selfish : (2 votes)
    1 %
    Hell no! Run away : (138 votes)
    95 %
    He does not love you anymore but you can fix it : (4 votes)
    3 %
    You are the worst person in the world : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6212 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    HE is the one being selfish, not you. RUN fast and far while you still can.

    ETA Nor do I believe he loves you like you deserve to be loved. You can find someone who will put you first.

    Post # 4
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I just want to say that your fiancé sounds just like my dad. For the record, my parents got divorced after twelve years, the last couple of which were not pretty. My dad tolde my mom that she would always come last: after his parents, then his brothers, then his children, then her. With my recent engagement, my dad and I had a conversation where I learned that he still feels the same way. He still believe his parents and brothers come first. In other words, he won’t change.

    I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but if he’s told you from the beginning that you’d never come first, then that’s unfortunate and I hope he enjoys living with his mother until he’s 70, but he DID tell you. You knew he was like that, yet you stayed with him. I can’t help but wonder why is it different now.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6212 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    @VioletBee76:  a promise he made to WHO?? IMO the only promises you should be making about your wedding are those to your fiance. This man does not value you. Please do not stay with him.

    Post # 9
    Member
    924 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    He doesn’t love you at all.

    My Fiance is an only child, his parents are in their mid 60s – he’s 42.  He’s pretty close to them.  And he’d rather have his eyes poked out with a red hot poker than have the 4 of us live together.  At the moment, he’s having to live with them so he can keep his job…and he hates it.  He loves his parents, but he wants to live with me, to be independant again. He’s embarassed by the fact that he’s living with them.

    I’m sorry his father has died…but he already has a good compromise in place for his mother – he’s bought her a seperate property!  So he is now serious when he says that he’s going to let that property sit empty…what a waste of money.  Frankly, I wouldn’t be happy if any partner of mine put buying his parents property over our living situation. 

    He’s made it more than crystal clear you will never be a priority to him.  Like the poet said ‘when someone tells you who they are, believe them’

    I’m 44, and didn’t meet my current Fiance until I was 41.  I assume you are also in your late 20s. You’ve got plenty of time to find a man – a real grown up man, not a child – who will make you a priority. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    982 posts
    Busy bee

    @VioletBee76:  he is selfish, not you. You’ve had no say in anything – not in the house, the living arrangements or your own wedding! You’ve just gone along with it to make him happy. Well, now it’s time for you to think of your happiness, you’re important too! This intended marriage doesn’t sound equal, it sounds like a dictatorship. You deserve so much more, and I think you should RUN! He doesn’t seem to care about how you feel.

    Post # 13
    Member
    12248 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    When I started reading your post all I could think was “Oh my goodness, she’s dating my ex!” Long story short, I also dated a guy who said that he would always love his mother way more than he would ever love me. When I FINALLY got him out of his mother’s basement, he started knocking me around!

    Anyway, moral of the story, CUT AND RUN. RUN FAR, FAR AWAY!

    Post # 14
    Member
    6212 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    @VioletBee76:  That seems really on the far end of crazy to me. Who makes a religious promise about the venue for their eventual wedding? He sounds very unstable.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You can’t marry someone who wants to marry his mom instead of you. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You can’t marry someone who wants to marry his mom instead of you. 

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