(Closed) Am I a “gasp” Bridezilla?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
271 posts
Helper bee

Wow tough call. 


I’m in design so I can identify with friends asking me to design their wedding stationary etc, it can be hard when expected to do it for free if the bride is ungrateful. But if they’re thankful (and it sounds like you would be)l I’d never do it for more than free! Most times they’ve just given me a lovely bottle of wine or something to say thanks, that was really sweet, but I’d never take payment from a mate. 


You’ve already paid for and (received?) the stationary so I’d let that one go, but as for the cake, just go somewhere else, $2.50 per slice for boxed, pre frozen cake sounds a bit off. I don’t know what it’s like over there, but over here you can get supermarket bakeries to do amazing tiered cake jobs for around $2.50 per slice. They don’t have street cred of a proper bakery, but often you can’t tell the difference. You usually have to ask as it’s a behind the scenes thing. 

Post # 4
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Not sure about being a bridezilla or not, but maybe your friend for the stationery can’t get the items needed for your invitations for wholesale. The custom shop probably can get them for a lot less. As for the cake, I don’t know if you bake or not, but baking that many cakes, even from a box, and decorating them for a wedding is very time consuming and probably very expensive.

Post # 5
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I guess we can’t always assume our friends will give us discounts (or as we say in Australia, mates’ rates). I was going to have a friend do our hair and makeup (she ended up not being available on the date), it was cheaper than hiring someone else but not by much. It was still her time and her equipment but she wouldn’t be making a profit. I think sometimes if you are the kind of person who makes/bakes things, it can be easy to get burned by friends and family who think they can use your skills and not pay properly for them, which isn’t fair either. So your friends are probably trying to avoid that. But still, it’s your wedding so if you aren’t comfortable paying for the cakes (focusing on that as it sounds like it’s too late for the invites), then let your friend know that you’ve decided to save him the trouble and go with someone else. Personally I want to pay people properly whether they are friends or not, but paying so much for frozen cakes made from a packet mix (which you could do yourself, unless he is a great decorator?) seems very strange…

Post # 7
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would not (!) go with the cakes!!!! Like it was already mentioned you can get grocery bakery cakes for that much and I’m sorry, but they are going to be better than frozen, box made cakes. I would say thanks, but no thanks. I can’t believe he works for a bakery, no offense because if that was my industry I wouldn’t want my name attached to subpar work if I wanted to get work.

Post # 8
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

That sure sounds expensive for a boxed mix frozen wedding cake.  I would definitely do something else for your cake.  🙁 Bummer!!!  Could you buy plainly frosted cakes and decorate them yourself???  Or see what your local grocery stores would charge.  (Make sure you taste test -as there ARE big differences in store produced cakes and frostings.)  I am pretty sure that you can purchase sugar flowers, etc. to decorate your cakes if you want.  But if it is pretty simple, your grocery store should be able to do it.  Good luck!! 🙂

Post # 9
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I just went to a wedding that had a fake cute cake that they cut but they served the guests cake from Sams Club. The whole sale stores have great prices and the taste delicious.

Post # 10
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I guess maybe I have a different perspective….  I am finishing my doctorate of pharmacy degree.  So, I regularly have people like relatives ask questions about their medications.  It gets frustrating!  When I’m at a party (and not at work!) or whatever, I really don’t want to be thinking about my job that much.  My Fiance is a computer networking person… I don’t like when people do the “can you just help me figure this one thing out, I’m sure it’s easy” and then five hours later I see him again.  


Needless to say, I’m not a big fan of huge discounts/ free for friends and family unless that person volunteers to do that work for you (and you don’t initially ask them too).  When people are utilizing their time or resources, I think they should be compensated market value (unless of course they volunteered to do it for free – and you didn’t have to ask — more like a gift).

Post # 11
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I don’t think you should agree to the cake proposal your friend gave you – that just sounds really weird and I don’t know why he wouldn’t be able to at least bake it fresh. And boxed mix?

We had a similar situation in that we hired one of my husband’s friends as our photographer. We certainly didn’t ask for anything to be free, and she had offered to do our wedding for a “discount”. We ended up paying just as much as if we’d hired the photographer I really wanted (and who was available) and the pictures were AWFUL.

Based on that experience, I’m leary whenever anyone says they’re going with friendors.

Post # 12
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

2.50 per slice for non tiered cakes is too much. You could price them out at your local bakery – usually a round cake would be $12-$20 and even then you’d definitely be getting more than 6-8 slices per cake.

Tell him that you can’t afford that for boxed cake mix and tell him what your local bakery charges. If he doesn’t think it’s worth it to do the job for less then take your business elsewhere.

As for your friend making the invitations – it IS more expensive to buy small quantities of things – plus depending on your invites they could be very very time consuming.

I designed my own and it took me 3 weekends just to get them all printed and trimmed out and that doesn’t include addressing anything or handmaking the pocketfolds. You probably could have gotten them cheaper from a shop because they’re set up to do them in bulk unlike someone working out of her home.

Post # 13
2889 posts
Sugar bee

At a bridal show, I tasted cake froma baker who works out of her home and admited she uses box mixes and frosting (with her own special ingredient). She also does a fake cake and serves sheet cake from the kitchen because she claims her cakes are too moist to hold up in tiers. I was shocked to find out that she was charging $3.50 per slice for this! Not only is her overhead low, she’s selling sheet cakes as wedding cake and charging more than some bakeries. That being said, I’m not as shocked that your friend is going to use box mixes but I do feel that you can get a better deal (especially since you want 10 cakes) at a bakery or grocery store.

Post # 14
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would try to shop around and see what you can find about the cake. 

I think friends should be able to charge friends for their services but its nice if they can like do it at little to no profit.  It sounds like your baker friend wants to make a profit off of you. 

I agree with Eva that it is frustrating when people just expect a “freebee” from a friend that works in the business but thats also what friends are for. I think offering to pay for supplies is plenty, if they want to make a profit off of you then I think its best not to mix business and friends. 


Post # 15
520 posts
Busy bee

Personally, I think $2.50 per slice is a lot for a cake made out of a boxed mix that will be made in advance and then frozen.  I would check Sam’s club or BJ’s if you have one near you.  (it would be worth the membership).  Check your grocery stores as well.  You could even just get a few pretty round cakes and have a few sheet cakes in the back and serve those.  I don’t know…..I’m just not feelin the love on what  your family wants to charge you for the cakes. 

And no, you aren’t crazy for being disgruntled ~ lol.

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