(Closed) Am I a terrible MOH?!? I need your help!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Has she asked you to make a speech? If so, just give a short generalized speech about how you’ve known her for so long and she’s practically a sister to you, and wish them all the best.

Post # 4
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would make a short, nice speech about how you’re happy to share in this special time in her life, and say congratulations.  Make it more about her, less about them.

Post # 5
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sheridd2:  My fiance is a best man in a wedding where he and the bride don’t even speak.  She is completely crazy on so many levels, the whole family knows it, and I’m dreading the wedding. Anyways, for his speech he plans to focus primarily on the groom and his relationship with him/how long they’ve know each other etc., and wish the couple the best.  Keep it short and sweet, it’s really all you can do.


Post # 7
7310 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

You’re in a tough spot. Honestly, I don’t know that I could bring myself to attend a wedding that I don’t support, let alone be the Maid/Matron of Honor. You’ve got more guts than I do.

That said, I’d probably make the toast all about my friend. Tell a story from your shared past and wish her all the best in the future. Just don’t do what happened at one of our friend’s wedding. The Maid/Matron of Honor just didn’t approve of the groom. The groom had done nothing to deserve this disapproval, but the Maid/Matron of Honor hated him nonetheless. So the Maid/Matron of Honor, who was a bit sauced, gave her toast and said that she really didn’t know why anyone bothered to come to the wedding because the couple would be divorced in 6 months anyway. The bride was livid, and that was the end of it. The bride and groom have been very happily married for 5 years now and are trying for their 2nd child. I’d say that Maid/Matron of Honor is currently eating her words and kicking herself for ruining a lifelong friendship.

Post # 8
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

@peonies2:  Id stick with that plan too

Post # 9
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I was in a similar position as my best friends Maid/Matron of Honor. I had known her for 20+ years at that point and while I found out even worse things about her now husband after they were married I never really warmed up to him and to top it off he was awful the day before the wedding! He showed up late to the rehearsal, over 1.5 late to the rehearsal dinner – meaning that post rehearsal he just took off for 1.5 h! Then during the rehearsal he accused her of “checking out the best man” because she was looking at him while he was talking to a group of us?! After the rehearsal, he got in his car and took off! No one could find him or contact him for almost 12 hours!!  My friend was in a panic calling him and texting him all night. Finally his Bridesmaid or Best Man found him asleep in his car park in front of his mother’s house. He called my friend at 5am to say he had just “fell asleep and lost his phone” it was so difficult to be happy for her at this point and up until the ceremony she wasn’t even that happy because of what he put her though the night before.


For my speech I focused solely on my friend and what type of person she is and how much our friendship meant to me. I also read a poem that was the inspiration for their theme.


 They’ve been married 1.5 years now and he’s still controlling and jealous. He’s gone so far as to accuse her of sleeping with family members! It’s disgusting but she won’t leave him. I’m just there for her when she needs me (don’t hear from her often) and hope they either work through his issues or she gets out.








Post # 10
79 posts
Worker bee

Just think of how much it will mean to your friend… And as far as telling her he’s no good etc she probably knows that. But now its too late, because either you keep (being a good friend) and telling her why you believe it true and the marriage is over (then of course it’ll be ‘your fault’) or you just bite your tongue sometimes, and wait for her to either work on her relationship, or leave him (hopefully before 2 kids and a mortgage)

weve all been there with the drop kick boyfriend’ try be a gf and a shoulder to lean on instead 🙂

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