(Closed) Am I a terrible MOH?!? I need your help!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@sheridd2:  make your speech, but focus on wishing them a happy future. You don’t have to go on a dishonest tirade about what a great guy he is.

Post # 4
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Make the speech about your friendship… then just end with… I’m so happy she’s happy. I think lying wiuld be just as uncomfortable for everyone. Your job is to support her, not necessarily the marriage

Post # 5
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Aquaria:  +1

Focus on her, your friendship and wishing them a happy future. If he’s as bad for her as you seem to think, she’s going to need the well wishes.

Post # 6
Member
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Concentrate on your friendship and love for the bride and then wish them a very happy future together.

Post # 7
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I had a very similar experience, except that my bestie’s now husband is an abusive drug addict with a trustfund, no job, and the kind of temper that could kill her — he’s one of two human beings I know that I can actually so I hate (I do not use that word lightly).

She knows I don’t like him. I don’t mention it anymore — I told her when they were dating, and then I mentioned it when they got engaged (this got me uninvited from being her Maid/Matron of Honor, but her reasoning for it was sound and we’re the kind who don’t do hurt feelings with each other — it sounds weird, but bestie and I acknowledge that we’re each others’ non-romantic soul mates … completely inseparable).

Since she decided not to have a bridal aprty when she realized no one approved, there were no speeches, but I did write a letter in the card with their wedding gift. In the altter, I just focused on her, how much her friendship means to me and how lovely she is, and I ended it with words to him about treating her right and making her happy. Probably would need to be tweaked for a speech (I may have admonished him a little) but I think the idea of focusing on HER is probably a fine way to go about it.

Post # 8
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sheridd2:  you should def make a speech.  You have tons of memories that built your friendship, focus on that. 🙂

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