(Closed) Am I a total b&[email protected] and Scrooge?

posted 4 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Other issues aside, don’t you feel the toaster is “just” for your Mother-In-Law, as opposed to both? Will your Father-In-Law really use/appreciate the toaster? 

I would personally go in on the gift.

Post # 5
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@NLbride:  Families handle money and gifts in different ways. His family will never be as generous as yours, so the sooner you drop the comparison the better.

I suggest you and Darling Husband establish a firm budget and do what you can within that budget.

Post # 6
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@NLbride:  Lol! I love toast too! 

Well in thst case, just politely decline and tell them you’ve already gotten them a gift. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Post # 7
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I would still give your Mother-In-Law the toaster, and the wedding album to both of them, but it would be unfair for your Father-In-Law to not receive a gift that is mainly for him, since your Mother-In-Law will be receiving a gift mainly for her – the toaster. So I would either go in on the generator or get something else for your Father-In-Law. As you said it would be unfair to your Mother-In-Law to not give her the toaster and give your Father-In-Law the generator, but why do you think it is fair to give your Mother-In-Law the toaster but not give your Father-In-Law anything besides the wedding album for both of them?

Post # 11
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@NLbride:  I don’t think you are. However, I would rethink the toaster. Considerate(stainless steel to match), heart in the right place (fil likes toast) but it is so generic. Like if they adored coffee and you got them a coffee/espresso maker that is useful, thoughtdul and fun!

Don’t compare families with gifts, like another poster said everyone caps gifts differently and handles money differently. If you decide to spend X on one side then be consistent with the other.

Post # 12
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@NLbride:  the person you have to convince is your Darling Husband. One budget- applies to both sets of parents.

Post # 13
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s not worthwhile to compare your family to his. They will never be the same.

ETA: I love toast, but I wouldn’t want a toaster for a christmas gift. Just sayin. A 100 dollar toaster makes toast just as easily as my 15 dollar toaster.

Post # 14
Member
7242 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think most of us are at an age where we should be making generous gifts to our parents, even if our parents don’t make generous gifts to us.

Post # 15
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@NLbride:  Oh by the way, I am not a fan of people suggesting going in on gifts UNLESS they know and are 100% certain that the people they ask can 1) afford to spend that amount and 2) want to spend that amount

Post # 16
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@NLbride:  ok as long as you give the toaster to both (both names on the card) then it should be enough 🙂

The topic ‘Am I a total b&[email protected] and Scrooge?’ is closed to new replies.

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