(Closed) am i actually a waiting bee??

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

To me, I wouldn’t consider yourself waiting or engaged. But then again, I dont really get “waiting.” Dont take it personally.

I more of want to comment that he doesn’t want to discuss or plan a wedding with you. It sounds like he is stringing you along because he knows you are just waiting for his permission to plan. You’ve given him permission to do that, so here you are now. 

Have you asked him if he considers your fiance or girlfriend? Has he introduced you as one or the other? I think you need to sit down adn set some firm timelines. If he is serious about marrying you in 2013, this shouldn’t be an issue to just have a date. 


Post # 5
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am another one of the “don’t understand the idea of waiting” people, so apologies if my response is a bit weird.

Initially it sounds like you are engaged, he hasn’t said not to talk about the wedding because you are a loon and you’re not getting married, he has said not to talk about it because he is stressed out and busy. Which is fine, moving can be stressful and I can understand why he wants to do one thing at a time. If you really are unsure just say to him “Are we engaged, I don’t want to look like a nutter-butter talking about getting married if you’re not ready to actually get married”

When I read your second post I second guessed it. If he is going to propose with a ring then I would say you are engaged when he actually asks you to marry him – so don’t plan anything until that actually happens. So if that means you’re waiting, then yes, you are waiting.

Post # 7
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@futuremrsk18:  I don’t think you’re crazy, but I can see why you are confused (I would be in your shoes!). Good luck with sorting it out. For what it is worth, I do think you are engaged, since he quite clearly is planning to marry you, but maybe he has watched to many movies and believes you have to have a big proposal to be officially engaged? Seriously, talk to him. If only because I want to know what is going on!

Post # 8
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

HMMMM. Interesting. Since you talked about skipping the ring, then changed your mind, I’m not sure what to think!! You might be engaged?? Maybe? If you’re engaged then you’re not “waiting”…unless you’re waiting on the ring?? I don’t know. But the fact that he is asking you to wait until October makes me wonder if maybe he is planning a proposal before October? And he’s using the move as a decoy? He is telling you to figure out what kind of wedding you want so in my head, there is no doubt that the wedding will be occuring. And since he said that you should figure out what you want, then you are certainly not loony for planning.

Post # 9
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You sound kind of like me at the moment.

Me & SO have decided to get engaged by the end of this year at the latest, and we actively talk about whether we want to elope or have a formal wedding, where we’d like to have it, etc.

However, I don’t consider myself technically “engaged” yet, but I know for sure it’s coming. I definitely can see how it can be confusing, though!

Men tend to think in a linear manner: they tackle the most pertinent matters first. In this case, to him, moving is the most important matter to deal with first. Once the moving is done, no doubt he’ll be more relaxed and ready to get back to the wedding.

Stay strong! 🙂

Post # 11
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Ask him if he considers you engaged. Then show him a fairly detailed breakdown of when you need to start booking things if you were to have a destination wedding next year.

Ask him to help you nail down a date. That will get him talking.

These things don’t just magically happen… they take months of planning. Maybe he isn’t aware of how much it really takes to make a wedding happen.

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