(Closed) Am I alone?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My wedding hasn’t even happened yet and I’m constantly feeling like mine isn’t going to be good enough. But then I remember that each thing we’re doing, we’re doing for a reason. Every detail has a meaning to us as a couple and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I get wedding envy all.the.time. I want to put together so many different aspects of all these lovely lady’s weddings and keep all the details I already have. And that’s not going to work haha!

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@MissusTman: If it helps you feel any better, I sort of felt the same way about my wedding. It was huge, and I spent a lot of time trying to see all of my guests and only had about an hour to dance. I was really stressed, and though so many people told me how much fun they had, I just…didn’t.

I also wasn’t very happy with the way my hair turned out either. I should’ve let my friend do it instead of listening to my mom and going to her salon. There are regrets from the day, but ultimately, we’re married, and that’s the best part of it for me. Yes, we did get some beautiful pictures, and I look back at the day and hear stories, and I’m really glad everyone had a ton of fun. But it isn’t always rainbows and roses for everyone.

That’s part of the reason why I joined the bee as well. I didn’t have the greatest experience planning and I love helping people now. Anything to make a bride’s life easier, I’m all for.

Post # 5
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

12 is NOT a plus size!  That is actually average. 

Please don’t get down about your wedding.  Try and focus on all the great things you did and things that happened….like you are now married to the man you love! 

Post # 6
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You don’t need advice, you need to appreciate that your day was special for you and your hubby!  Other peoples parties seem like fun because we’re not planning them or paying for them. 

I’m actually jealous of you because you’ve got your man and I’ve still got to wait 9 months for mine.

Have you talked to the hubby about this? Not one of those serious “we need to talk” but just ask him what he remembers about the day. Did something make him laugh, did he think something was weird? Get some champagne and have a fun recap night! Maybe you crinkled your nose trying not to cry. If you don’t drink champagne, maybe a cup of spiced tea in this gorgeous fall weather. (For me, champagne is the answer to anything, heehee). 

::HUGS::

Post # 9
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Weddings can be so stressful, maybe you just haven’t had a chance to relax, yet.  I bet once you have a little break from the wedding world, you’ll be able to look at your pictures and see the good stuff.  Not that you aren’t allowed to feel the way you do, but it’s still relatively fresh, so hopefully you’ll have some time to let go of the stuff that you didn’t like.  Like another poster said, I get wedding envy, too!  It’s hard to not look at the amazing pictures and get a little jealous.  Just remember, though, you’re just looking at pretty pictures, and have no clue what the emotions of the day actually were.  I’m sure lots of other brides feel exactly the same as you do.  And also, size 12 is NOT a plus size, I’m sure you were a gorgeous bride… most brides are, because of the JOY they feel on their day, not because they look like a super model.

Post # 10
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Simplifiedbride said it well too – once you’ve had a chance to relax and look back on things, you’ll start to remember small things that will make you smile. I still have people telling me how amazing the cocktail hour and food was. That makes me think of when we walked into our cocktail hour and everyone just started clapping for us. Very touching.

You’ll start to think back at the wonderful little moments and start to appreciate them as time goes on! Especially as you start to get your wedding photos back and if you had a video. You see things that you didn’t know happened and it makes you feel good about the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Please don’t feel bad about the dress size!  It matters so much more as to how a garment fits than what number is on the label.  Also, wedding dresses tend to run small, so lots of people have to get larger sizes than they normally wear.  I bet when your pictures come in, if you give yourself a chance, you’ll find that you looked beautiful.

Post # 12
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Don’t ever get down about your wedding.  It’s hard not to when it is something you’ve spent time and money on, but don’t.  Maybe it’s your perfectionism or anxiety relating to insecurities getting the best of you, but don’t let it.  I bet you had a great wedding, and more importantly, a great husband to share it with.  Let me put it this way, the wedding is one day, and marriage is every day.  I would be willing to sacrifice one day of feeling so-so if it meant being happy for the rest of my life with someone I love. 

If you need some reassurance, I encourage you to ConsciousWeddings.com or ConsciousTransitions.com. 

And, congrats to you!

Post # 13
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t worry, I felt the same way after our wedding.  As soon as I got the pro photos back my entire outlook on our wedding changed (and thankfully, we got a preview just 48 hours later, right before leaving for the honeymoon).  I bet when you get your pro photos back, you’ll feel better.  Somehow, our amazing photographer (Kelly Prizel) managed to catch beautiful emotions (excitement, love, joy, glowing happiness) that I neither remember feeling nor do I remember seeing on other people.  I didn’t necessarily remember the opposite (any bad feelings), but I was just very blah about the whole thing.  Then I got her photos back and saw not only how great we looked and how amazingly well all my decor and planning came together, but also how freakin’ happy everyone (including us) looked.  For reasons I still can’t explain fully, I just couldn’t take in and remember the joy, though it’s soooo obvious in our photos.  We are so genuinely glowing in our photos, and that really has helped us to remember all the good things.  So, just wait, I bet your pro photos captured a lot of the same thing.

Post # 15
Member
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oh my goodness what are you talking about!?  I think your hair looks absolutely beautiful and YOU look amazing!!! Look at your husband, he’s beaming and obviously proud to have you on his arm.  I really like that dress on you too, it’s beautiful.  Please don’t be so hard on yourself!!! You have the most important thing now, and that’s a husband who loves you!

Post # 16
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

you looked amazing! you do not look huge! I know how you feel though…it is difficult to see pictures of yourself sometimes. But these pictures are amazing and you look great. You are a beautiful happily married woman! It does not get much better than that! 😉

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