(Closed) Am I alone in thinking this is bad shower etiquette?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m on the fence about the envelope thing, but it is sure as hell rude to pimp out your registry on FB!!!!

Post # 4
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

the facebook thing is definitely rude. the other is odd, and i wouldn’t do it, but i don’t know if it’s rude. i’d call it lazy.

Post # 5
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The envelope thing isn’t in poor taste, I don’t think. It just helps guarantee that guests will get a timely thank-you card back. I’ve never done it at a shower, but I wouldn’t mind at all. Not a huge deal to me.

The FB status is bad though…

Post # 6
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

The facebook status is definitely rude.


The envelope thing, I’ve been to about 6 bridal showers that did that. To me, it’s totally normal.

Post # 7
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Legallyblondiebride:  I’m defintely against mentioning the registry.  That’s not cool. I’ve filled out many an envelope at a shower and thought nothing of it but after thinking about it, it rubs me the wrong way a little.  Not a big deal, but I feel like if I can buy a card and gift the least the recipient can do is write my name and address on a piece of paper. 

Post # 8
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh boy, I can’t imagine posting registry info on facebook! What about all the people on there that aren’t invited to the wedding — are they going to feel like THEY’RE expected to check out the registry too? Yeesh.

Post # 9
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  My Maid/Matron of Honor took names, wrote down the gift we got, and the addresses.  To tell my guests at the shower to address their own Thank you is super tacky.  Puting any gift graby comments on your facebook is also tacky to me.  The thank you was ok as long as it was not instead of a Thank You card and just at the moment thanking people. 

Post # 10
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think the envelope thing is normal.. I’ve seen that done a lot. And usually they use them for a drawing for a gift/prize, all the envelopes are put in a hat or something and the bride draws one and they get a little gift–you know, like prizes/gifts for winning bridal shower games. So by filling our your own envelope you’re entered into a drawing to win something.

Post # 11
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

The envelope thing is fine. Usually we turn it into a game though (a draw or something), and it’s happened literally at every shower I’ve been to, so it doesn’t bother me at all.

The FB status, that’s just grossly poor etiquette. I can’t believe she did that!

Post # 12
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Oh god, the FB status is just awful.  I couldn’t fathom saying, writing, or typing that.  It’s just gross!! I had a bridal shower on Saturday as well, and I did post a FB status thanking my wonderful family, with some hearfelt words about how much the shower meant to me…because it was true!! I am friends with many of my aunts and cousins so I like to bring attention to that sort of thing since I’m very thankful for it.  In NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM does that FB status take the place of a personalized, hand written thank you note, which will be mailed out this week. 

I, too, am on the fence about the envelope address thing, but really, if a bride has any iota of an idea of what people are doing for her (money and time spent planning things for showers, travel details, etc. not to mention gifts, gifts, gifts), the VERY least she can do is write the addresses of her guests herself.  If she’s thanking someone for a $60 shower gift, you’d think she’d be able to bring herself to writing a standard three-line mailing address.

Post # 13
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I’ve seen it before, and I’m not the biggest fan of the envelope thing. I’m planning on getting the RSVP list from my Maid/Matron of Honor a week before, so I can have them addressed beforehand, but it’s going to take me what- less than 15 minutes? But sounds like that Maid/Matron of Honor was just trying to be helpful, so I’d let that one slide.

The FB status is *incredibly* rude. Ugh.

Post # 14
1431 posts
Bumble bee

We did the envelope thing recently at a shower. I loved the idea because in the end they drew a envelope out of a bowl and they won a prize. And there was a cute return address stamp saying ” the furture Mrs. xxxx” The FB thing however is pretty embarrassing. 

Post # 15
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

The Facebook part is gift grabby.

I don’t see the problem with the return address enveope thing. I’ve never heard of that before, but it would have made writing thank you cards a bit easier if I had everyone’s address right away rather than calling around.

ETA: Oh I think I misunderstood! I thought they just collected everyone’s addresses in to an envelope. I didn’t realize they actually had guests address their own thak you card envelope lol! That is weird to me.

Post # 16
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Hahaha the envelope thing reminds me of the dentist.. how they something have you address a postcard to yourself to reminded you of your next appt in six months

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