Post # 1
I am trying to figure out if I am asking my Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs to spend too much money. I do not want a shower (not that Maid/Matron of Honor has offered). I just want my bachelorette party ( I am having to plan since she is refusing to go) in Vegas and for them to come to the wedding. My Maid/Matron of Honor claims I am asking for her to spend too much money. So far their costs are:
I am paying for their hair and make up. The proposed cost for flight and hotel to Vegas is under/around $500. When I asked Maid/Matron of Honor to book her flight it would have been flight and hotel for $300.
The hotel for the wedding will be at the most $300 and that is not sharing a room and staying at an expensive hotel. Am I asking them to spend too much money?
Post # 3
So $100 for dress+shoes, $500 for flight, and $300 for the wedding hotel? $900 is too much IMO if your’e insisting on them going to the bachelorette party. If they have to stay in a hotel for the wedding, do they have to fly there too? I figured that $200 was the max for the wedding, and then whatever costs they have to spend to get to or stay there they would have had to spend even if they weren’t in the bridal party. I definitely won’t insist on them coming to my bachelorette/bridal shower if they have to fly, but if they want to come that’s great. I think you have to make Vegas optional…
Post # 4
@CoachSerendipityBride: Yep! That’s way too much. Agree with PP- the max most people are willing to pay is $200.
Post # 5
Well, everyone’s different but here is my opinion:
That amount of money for a bachelorette party is crazy to me. There are already a lot of costs associated with being in the wedding (hotel room, etc) that a party with a flight and hotel on top of it seems excessive. When I hear about the budget, I think about how useful that money could be elsewhere.
If I were a bridesmaid considering the cost that you have proposed for the bachelorette party and the wedding, I would choose to opt out of the bachelorette party and only attend the wedding if that was an option.
Post # 6
No, they do not have to fly to the wedding. It is a three hour drive for some and a 30 minute drive for others. The bridesmaids that live close to the wedding have offered their spare bedrooms to the other bridesmaids. Also, the Maid/Matron of Honor is staying with her brother who lives in the same city so she will not have to pay for a hotel.
My mom thinks I am asking too much and my mother in law to be doesn’t think I am asking too much of them so I am just trying to get some other opinions.
Post # 7
Agree with PP — $500 for Vegas is too much, in my book. You don’t want people to resent you/your wedding. Make it optional! That way, you know no one will be in a bad mood bc of it, they can make their own choice. But that will also depend on how you present it.
Post # 8
That depends on their life situation and the amount if time to plan it. If you are asking someone with several kids the money and logistics could take 6-8 month notice. If the are single or married and child free and gainfully employed then not so much. I would be irritated nit because of the cost but because of the pressure and demands.
I am having a Destination Wedding in Jamacia so my coats will be high but there is no pressure to attend if they can’t, or do anything. I hope they can make it but I understand that because my location is not at home that that may pose a hardships to others and they may not make it.
Post # 9
@CoachSerendipityBride: The dress and shoes are completely reasonable, but I really think you need to consider letting the girls share rooms. Five hundred dollars for a bachelorette party seems a little expensive, considering they’ll also have to pay for drinks and food.
ETA: When I went to Vegas for a bachelorette party, I paid about $300 for the flight and shared hotel room for two nights. That being said, everyone’s financial situations are different.
Post # 10
The bach party would be too much for me. Everything else is fine.
Post # 11
Yes that is way too much money !!! I would not be able to do it, plus they will have to pay for dinners breakfast lunch out each day in Vegas on top of that!!! Why do they need to book a $300 hotel room for
your wedding ? Our honeymoon hotel didn’t even cost that much ????
Post # 12
I’m spending at least $700 for my best friend’s bachelorette in Vegas. She’s my best friend, so really I would spend any amount for her and I always have fin in Vegas with her 🙂 It’ll be another $300-500 for dress, shoes, hotel, etc.
So personally, I don’t think it’s too much to ask them to spend because it’s a unique occasion for your besties. If they have the money and appropriate income and desire, they won’t resent you.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t go to your bachelorette party. If I had a 3 hour drive to your wedding, that’s good enough for me. I don’t drive three hours one way just for shits and grins.
Post # 14
I think that the bachelorette party is far beyond what most people are willing to spend on a wedding. Other people have mentioned making it optional, but I feel like that makes it a little exclusive. These are your closest girlfriends, right? So wouldn’t you want them ALL to be there, even if it meant have a more low key Bridal Party close to home? That’s my opinion at least.
Post # 15
The flight to Vegas makes things too much. If you all live close, why not have the bachelorette party close to where you all live?
The bachelorette parties I’ve been to were very low-key, cheap, fun, and quite close to the wedding (like the same week as the wedding). I suggest you pick something that you could do a night or two before the wedding in the same city, and request that they come an extra day. Then they’re only adding to the hotel fare. It’s a great way to just get to enjoy each other’s company before the wedding craziness, but it won’t be fun if you have to twist their arms to get them to join you.
Post # 16
@CoachSerendipityBride: Can someone explaine to me why it is necessary for bridesmaids to attend all these functions. They really should be optional. Besides the money, some may just find it hard to fit some of the events into their lives. Or may just not like to go to certain venues/destinations.
If you make it optional then you will have the people there that really want to be there. You can also just have a simple drink/meal in your home city for those who cannot make it. That way everyone is happy.