(Closed) Am I asking my BMs to pay for too much?!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Unless you told them upfront at the beginning that you expected them to pay for their hair, I dont think you can require it.

As a Bridesmaid or Best Man I expect to pay for a dress, maybe shoes and to chip in for a shower.  I dont think anything else should be required unless it was discussed and agreed upon before I accepted. It shouldnt matter if I spend $40 on a dress or $400. Its an entirely different expense.

Its not a trade off: just because you dont get a bachlorette, doesnt mean you get to ask them to spend money on something else instead.  Ask your sister to org a bacholorette- or another BM- even just a casual dinner out somewhere.

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Sorry, but I think you’re asking them to pay too much. I have curly hair that no one knows how to do. Anytime I go to a salon for a wedding, my hair looks like total crap. I have a friend who is fantastic with my hair and she usually does it for weddings. I’m also not very big on make-up, and can do my own very nicely for a wedding. So $145 for something I don’t want to do and know will make me look like crap? Yeah…I wouldn’t want to do it either.

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Short answer, yes, you are asking too much.  You can’t require your bridesmaids to get their hair and make up done unless you pay for it.  And honestly 80-100 for just hair is a lot to ask.  Especially if someone does have short hair and there is no chance they are going to have a really crazy up do.  If you want them to have everything professionally done then you should pay for it.  If not, leave it up to them.  You have to trust they can make themselves presentable for the day.  As the poster above me said you don’t get to trade things off.  Not having a bachelorette party has nothing to do with forcing your friends to pay for hair and make up.

Post # 6
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I don’t think you’re asking too much, especially since you had discussed it with them beforehand and they said at that time that they were okay with it.

The only thing that seems off to me is that it seems like a lot of money ($80 and up) to get their hair styled, and I can understand why someone with really short hair would have a problem with that.

Post # 7
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly, I think it’s too much.  That’s a lot of money for a hairstyle.  I think all you can do is tell them if they would like their hair done, the team will be available at x time and it will cost x amount.  Unless you’re paying for it yourself, you can not require that they do it.

Just my .02!

Post # 8
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t really think you’re asking them to pay too much since you mentioned all of these things before. However when it comes down to it, it’s not really worth a fight to make someone get their hair done.

Post # 9
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think it’s pretty generally accepted that if a bride requires her bridesmaids to have professional hair and makeup, she pays.

Post # 10
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

$80 for a hairstyle when you have short hair is too expensive. I wouldn’t want to pay for that either. Do you think her hair is going to look terrible if she doesn’t get it done professionally?

Post # 11
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Unless you are paying for hair and makeup you cannot require them to get their hair done. If they want to spend the money on it then they can but I do think its too much to ask to have them paying for their own hair if they dont even want to get their hair done.

Post # 12
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I wanted all my BM’s to get updos, so I offered to pay for 1/2 of their hair as a gift. I never actually said they were required to get it done, but I said it would look nice if we all had our hair professionally done and I felt bad about the $90 price tag so I would pay for 1/2.

The only other thing my BM’s had to pay for was their dress, which was $150 which I don’t think is too bad. They got to wear shoes of their own choosing and makeup was optional. My Mom paid for the shower since it was at her house, but hosted by my BM’s.

Post # 13
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think you’re asking too much.  I assume that I’m going to have my hair and makeup professionally done when I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man and that I’ll have to pay for it.

Post # 14
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

In terms of the dress, shoes, etc. I do believe those costs are more than fair. However I do not think it’s right to require not only your BM’s to get their hair done but alse tell them who they have to get their hair done by. I was in a wedding where the bride required us all to get our hair and makeup done together at the venu by the stylist they chose. It made for a very uncortable situation and it was not a fun morning because a lot of people were not that happy. Let’s say you want everyone’s hair up, I would ask my BM’s to have their hair up, this allows them to go to whatever stylist they chose or even if they have a friend or family member that is really good at hair.

Post # 15
Member
14660 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It doesn’t sound like you’ve asked them to pay for a lot and have been really great about keeping the costs down.  Is there any validity to the short haird Bridesmaid or Best Man not wanting to pay to get her hair done?  Would it be worth it?  How about if they dont want their hair done, you ask them to pay for the make up since it’s cheaper.  If they get make up done, and can do their hair just fine, then why argue it.   At the end of the day, you and new hubby are the focus of the day, BM’s and GM’s are on the side lines, I dont think its that big a deal to make them get their hair done.

Post # 16
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

You are asking them for too much.

If you require them to get their hair and makeup done, then YOU need to pay for it.

You can offer hair as an option but you cannot require them to pay to get their hair done.

Really all you can ask them to buy is dress and shoes. Anything else should be an option for them to accept or turn down OR you should pay for it.

The topic ‘Am I asking my BMs to pay for too much?!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors