Post # 1
I have a question for all you wonderful ladies out there… especially Mummys……. My wedding is on 30th June next year and we have just found out that my Maid/Matron of Honor is pregant…. We could not be happier for her if we tried. It was such a surprise but she totally deserves it as she is already a wonderful Mum to a ten year old and she is my GI’s sister! (So excited to be an Auntie!!!).
The only thing I am worried about is that she is due at the end of april so the little one will only be two months old for the wedding. I am very conscious of how much time a new born takes up and I really dont want to stress her out with more things. I don’t want to ask anyone else to be my Maid/Matron of Honor as she is the best friend I have ever had but I am worried I am asking too much of her.
So my question is ladies, what was it like for you when you had a newborn at a wedding you played a big role in? She has said that her partners parents will be looking after the baby but I know she will have to pump regularly and I dont want to make her feel pressured to do anything. I also know that she is worried about fitting into her dress, which we have had an appointment and weekend trip away with My Aunt, My future Mother-In-Law and my other bridesmaid, booked for months to go and find this weekend. I have told her I am more than happy to order any size she wants and will pay for the dress to be altered to fit her so that she is comfortable on the day as we are paying for their dresses. This person is one of the most important people in my life and I love her to peices so I dont want to do anything that will cause her any upset… Please help with your opinions ladies…. I would really really appreciate it……
Post # 3
No, you’re not asking too much! It sounds like you’re being super considerate. Thank you for being a normal person and being excited for her instead of having a meltdown about how you don’t want her newborn or pregnancy affecting your day. It sounds like everything is going to be jsut fine…she’s got her partner’s parents to help out, you’re being very accomodating about the dress (I’d definitely say going bigger and then altering it down if necessary is the best decision), etc. And hopefully the other girls will step up and help out if they need to with the shower, bachelorette, etc. But it really sounds like it will all be fine =)
Post # 4
@Wonderstruck: Thank you… Her parents will also be around but with them being the grooms parents too their attention will be slightly divided. I am over the moon for her I just want to make sure that she is comfortable. We were going to go abroad for my Hen night (Bachelorette Night to all you lovely Americans out there) and having a second one in my home town but the one abroad was going to be the same moth she is due to deliver so I have deicided I don’t want to have a night without my Maid/Matron of Honor as she is a huge part of my life and it wouldnt feel right without her so we are only having one.. I do feel guilty that I am asking her to still be there though as she will not be able to drink with breast feeding and will be leaving a new child at home which I understand will be hard… I will be happy even if she is there for a few hours though… I know that my other bridesmaid will be more than willing to pick up a fair amount of the duties as I am only having one Maid/Matron of Honor and one bridesmaid but I just have no idea really what it is like in those first few months after delivery as I have no children (yet lol). Thank you for making me feel a bit less like I am asking a new Mum to take on too much 🙂
Post # 5
My bridesmaid had a 2 month old newborn at the time of my wedding. She did not bring the baby, but she excused herself to pump regularly, and that was about all that affected her. She ordered a bigger size dress to accommodate her chest size at that point. Other than that, there really wasn’t any impact of the pregnancy or newborn.
Post # 6
@hardtoconcentrate: Thank you… That really helps… As I mentioned her partner’s parent’s will have the baby but she said she probably wont actually bring him or her to the wedding or reception……
Post # 7
You sound like an awesome friend. 🙂 Maybe just touch base with her about a month before and find out if everything is going according to plan in case you need to make any changes? (Like if he won’t take a bottle or something, she might have to bring him.)
Post # 8
Honestly if SHE doesn’t feel like it’s going to be too much for her, then I don’t see why you should question her judgment.
Post # 9
If she can’t handle the Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities she will let you know. I’m sure her husband can care for their baby while she does her role. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 10
I think it’s really great that you are so supportive of her. You are not asking too much at all, it sounds like you are a great friend.
Post # 11
You’re being a great friend, especially as everything you’ve said is directly about how much you love and care for her! Everything will work out, especially since you’re being so considerate 🙂
Post # 12
Holy, you’re nice. She’s lucky to have you.
I don’t have any kids, but I was recently in a wedding. The maid of honour became pregnant and was due a month before the wedding. I live suuuuuuuuuuper far away so I was unable to attend the shower and bachelorette party. This pregnant girl was supposed to plan both and her and I talked online about it a lot. But right after the baby was born nothing was planned, no invites, nothing. There was one other bridesmaid there but the maid of honour refused to let anyone else plan it because she felt it her duty. I understand having a baby and being busy, but I feel so bad for my friend. I had to run out last minute and buy all of the supplies and make the invitations and mail them, and barely anyone came on such short notice. It sucked.
Just be aware that your Maid/Matron of Honor will probably not be able to be as involved as she would have been before.
Post # 13
Hi everyone, thank you all so much for the input… I have a small update… we went dress shopping for their dresses a few weeks ago and man was it HARD! My Maid/Matron of Honor had to stop for a break every so often which was a welcome break for everyone so that wasn’t what was hard but it was the fact that she HATED herself in every single dress even though she looked completely stunning in everything. No matter how much we all told her that she looked amazing she was having none of it and didn’t like how she looked. Trying to remind her that by the day comes that she will be wearing it she will be post baby and will have the option of wearing spanx if she really needs to, not that I think she will as even with her bump she looked better than I do, was a task but I knew that eventually she would feel a bit better…. Anyway in the end we ended up with gorgeous dresses. They are Sorella Vita 8202 in Charcoal as our colours are ivory charcoal and wine/burgunday. I love the dresses and both girls do even though Maid/Matron of Honor was hesitant at first…. We have ordered a few sizes too big just in case and I will be ordering some lace in the same colour (lace to match me) to make a small modesty panel over the bust for her as she is VERY self conscious about that area as she will still be breast feeding. She really looked amazing and I am so happy with the dress choices. I have told them that they can shorten them or do what they want with them once they have worn them for the wedding. I just hope that she feels ok on the day……
Post # 14
Love that you’re this considerate! 🙂 Ask her, if she’s willing to take on the responsibilities, give her the chance! Worst case, as the date draws nearer maybe she won’t be able to do EVERYTHING at the end, but your other ladies should be able and willing to help out! Given how considerate YOU are, I can’t imagine your friends being anything less than helpful and considerate themselves. 🙂
On a similar note… my Maid/Matron of Honor has a 2 year old now, and she and her hubby (FI’s Best Man) have been trying to conceive a second child. She insisted they stop trying between August (12 months before my wedding – the baby would only be 3 months old) and February (6 months before my wedding, so she would be 5 months pregnant). She said she would not want a baby younger than 3 months old at my wedding, and she would not want to be more than 5 months pregnant (outdoor ceremony in August!). I yelled at her because I didn’t want her to put her whole life on hold for six months just for one day! Plus, I LOVE her son (he’s our ring bearer!) and I know I’m going to love her second baby JUST as much no matter how young.
But she just laughed at me and told her I can’t make them try to make a baby. Haha.