(Closed) Am I asking too Much?????

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No, you’re not asking too much! It sounds like you’re being super considerate. Thank you for being a normal person and being excited for her instead of having a meltdown about how you don’t want her newborn or pregnancy affecting your day. It sounds like everything is going to be jsut fine…she’s got her partner’s parents to help out, you’re being very accomodating about the dress (I’d definitely say going bigger and then altering it down if necessary is the best decision), etc. And hopefully the other girls will step up and help out if they need to with the shower, bachelorette, etc. But it really sounds like it will all be fine =)

Post # 5
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My bridesmaid had a 2 month old newborn at the time of my wedding.  She did not bring the baby, but she excused herself to pump regularly, and that was about all that affected her.  She ordered a bigger size dress to accommodate her chest size at that point.  Other than that, there really wasn’t any impact of the pregnancy or newborn.

Post # 7
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You sound like an awesome friend. πŸ™‚ Maybe just touch base with her about a month before and find out if everything is going according to plan in case you need to make any changes? (Like if he won’t take a bottle or something, she might have to bring him.)

Post # 8
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly if SHE doesn’t feel like it’s going to be too much for her, then I don’t see why you should question her judgment.

Post # 9
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If she can’t handle the Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities she will let you know. I’m sure her husband can care for their baby while she does her role. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 10
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think it’s really great that you are so supportive of her. You are not asking too much at all, it sounds like you are a great friend.

Post # 11
986 posts
Busy bee

You’re being a great friend, especially as everything you’ve said is directly about how much you love and care for her! Everything will work out, especially since you’re being so considerate πŸ™‚ 

Post # 12
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Holy, you’re nice. She’s lucky to have you.

I don’t have any kids, but I was recently in a wedding. The maid of honour became pregnant and was due a month before the wedding. I live suuuuuuuuuuper far away so I was unable to attend the shower and bachelorette party. This pregnant girl was supposed to plan both and her and I talked online about it a lot. But right after the baby was born nothing was planned, no invites, nothing. There was one other bridesmaid there but the maid of honour refused to let anyone else plan it because she felt it her duty. I understand having a baby and being busy, but I feel so bad for my friend. I had to run out last minute and buy all of the supplies and make the invitations and mail them, and barely anyone came on such short notice. It sucked.

Just be aware that your Maid/Matron of Honor will probably not be able to be as involved as she would have been before.

Post # 14
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Love that you’re this considerate! πŸ™‚ Ask her, if she’s willing to take on the responsibilities, give her the chance! Worst case, as the date draws nearer maybe she won’t be able to do EVERYTHING at the end, but your other ladies should be able and willing to help out! Given how considerate YOU are, I can’t imagine your friends being anything less than helpful and considerate themselves. πŸ™‚


On a similar note… my Maid/Matron of Honor has a 2 year old now, and she and her hubby (FI’s Best Man) have been trying to conceive a second child. She insisted they stop trying between August (12 months before my wedding – the baby would only be 3 months old) and February (6 months before my wedding, so she would be 5 months pregnant).  She said she would not want a baby younger than 3 months old at my wedding, and she would not want to be more than 5 months pregnant (outdoor ceremony in August!). I yelled at her because I didn’t want her to put her whole life on hold for six months just for one day! Plus, I LOVE her son (he’s our ring bearer!) and I know I’m going to love her second baby JUST as much no matter how young.

But she just laughed at me and told her I can’t make them try to make a baby. Haha.


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