Post # 1
I asked my fiance to fire one of his groomsmen. Before you start yelling at me, please hear the entire story and then you can me if I was wrong or right.
This guy is a friend of my fiance’s from high school about 15 years ago. Since then, they may have seen each other a handfull of times. While my fiance has worked very hard to build his career and has left his party ways behind, his friend is a known drug addict, and so is his girlfriend. I refuse to ever hang out with them because I am uncomfortable being around them, and their choice of lifestyle.
My family is spending a lot of money on this wedding, and I do not feel comfortable introducing this friend of my fiance to them. I also do not feel comfortable introducing him and the girlfriend to family and friends at the rehearsal dinner, and the wedding. I am also scarred that they will be doing drugs at the wedding (Ive seen them do it in public before).
My fiance has reluctantly agreed to fire him as a groomsman. Am I wrong here?
Post # 3
I personally do not think you are wrong. If you know for a fact that they are into drugs then why would you want anything to do with them? What did your Fiance say about all of this and firing him as the groomens?
Post # 4
What does your FH have to say about all this? Why did he choose him in the first place?
Post # 5
I can understand your point of view. My sister struggled with addiction for a long time, and I was initially worried she would show up high as a kite at my wedding. It’s a bit different for me, becuase it was my sister, and of course I was inviting her (and it ended up being fine), but if this guy is someone your Fiance barely talks to anyway, it seems odd he would want him in the wedding, especially if they might be using at the wedding, and you are uncomfortable with it.
Post # 6
I don’t think you’re wrong to not want him to be a part of your bridal party. I’m a little concerned that your fiance would ask this person to be a part of your wedding knowing how he behaves. Especially since it doesn’t even seem like they have a close relationship at this point in their lives. Given that you wedding is well over a year away it was really too early to ask anyone to be a part of your bridal party anyway. Since the day is so far out I assume this groomsman has not made any financial commitment to the wedding, but if he has, your fiance should reimburse him.
Post # 7
I think if it’s important to your Fiance, then you should consider what you are asking him to do. Ultimately, your Fiance should know whether or not he can trust these people, and you can leave it to your Fiance to make sure they are on good behavior and he can do all the introductions if it makes you uncomforatable.
Post # 8
Do you just not want him as a groomsman or do you also not want him at the wedding as a guest?
Post # 9
My fiance agrees with me, but just feels bad, which of course makes me feel bad. But I think I would rather feel a little bad, then have drugs at the wedding. I told him, I didn’t want him in the wedding, but i said he can still invite him to be a guest at the wedding. I said that I didn’t want the girlfriend there, which is no big deal, because we are only inviting people as couples if they are married or engaged. That goes for anyone (obviously for cost). Thanks for your responses.
Post # 10
@Moose, I hit the wrong month when subscribing by mistake, the wedding is 7 months away so we had to ask wedding party and give them notice.