(Closed) Am I behind?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Nope! It’s awesome that you’re getting to enjoy being engaged! I love it when people take alot of time to figure out what they want and they’re not in a rush, I think it’s really sweet.

Post # 4
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

No, no no you definitely don’t need to pick the date right away! Unless it’s really soon, there’s no rush. Enjoy your holiday season and then think about wedding planning 🙂

Post # 5
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

no way! there’s no way that people would be about to get engaged and poof, know the date that they want to get married. unless they’ve been planning before the engagement. my fi and i didn’t have a clue, and we didn’t really want to at least for a little while. just tell them that you’re waiting until after the holidays to start planning, i’m sure people will understand.

Post # 6
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

First, congrats on the engagement! And no, you do not need to set a date right away.  We didn’t start doing any planning for about a month, and yes, some people thought it was odd, but we knew we wanted to take our time.  If anything I would think about what time of the year you want to get married..that’s a good starting point.  Otherwise, enjoy the engagement and the holidays and then start planning in the new year!

Post # 7
1565 posts
Bumble bee

Definitely not! Everyone asks these questions out of curiosity or just to be polite (because, after all, what else are you going to say when someone announces their engagement after “Congratulations” and “How did he propose?”). I did nothing for the first couple of months, and it took us until November to set a date (we got engaged in June). When I really started planning, by the way, it came together very quickly.

So enjoy the holidays, and don’t worry about the questions from everyone! Oh, and congrats on the engagement! 

Post # 8
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

congratulations=) i don’t think you’re behind at all! i think that’s people’s initial question once they congratulate you…definitely enjoy your engagement period and enjoy the moment then you can start planning…people asked me that question too after i got engaged, and we didn’t know until probably a month or 2 later…

Post # 9
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

You’re not behind.  I guess most people think couples now talk about engagements and wedding dates prior to it happening or that every woman has a fantasy date in mind already.  Go at your own pace, you’ll be fine.

We got engaged on 10/31/09 and set our date a week later, getting maried 12/31/0i9.  Fast engagement, LOL.

Post # 10
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

You are so NOT behind! I bet all of these “people” asking you if you have a date set are women, right?! It’s probably because all of these women, when they get engaged, rushed right to the calender to pick out a date. I guess it’s just one of those things you do out of excitement of being engaged.

You don’t have to set a date right away. I pretty much picked a date right away but had to change it three times because there’s more than just “picking a date” involved. First you have to make sure your venue isn’t booked, and if you have a photographer in mind you need to make sure they’re available, etc.

It can be completely overwhelming! So waiting until after the holiday’s is not a big deal at all. I’ve kind of put my wedding-planning on hold until the new year!

Good luck girl!

Post # 11
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t worry!  The night that I got engaged, people asked me whether we chose a date and what colors we were having.  The next week people started asking me about my dress!  Don’t let them get to you and stress you out!

Post # 12
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think people are just interested and excited for you.  Since you haven’t picked a date yet, start with the bigger question of dates: do you want to get married soon (before next September) or later?  Do you have a season, or are you waiting for someone to finish school for example.  Enjoy the process and congratulations!

Post # 13
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think you’re behind.  You are allowed to take your time.  People do get excited and they probably don’t mean any harm but just because you’re engaged doesn’t mean you have to immediately begin planning, that’s how the stress begins!  When you’re ready, you’re ready.  But, once you pick a venue, you will have to begin researching the other vendors because you don’t want to miss out on booking them which could happen if you wait too long.  Lots of other brides move fast!

Post # 14
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010


I remember getting that question right after my engagement…and now I don’t ask that!!  We didn’t find our venue (and therefore our date) until about 3-4 months after we got engaged…we wanted to relish being engaged.  But, we also knew we would want to get married in the summer b/c of my job and we had a little time to wait.

But, long story short  – – those people are nuts and just trying to make conversation 🙂

Post # 15
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We didn’t plan right away, as things came along and caught our interest naturally, we planned. Inspiration doesn’t come all at once.

Post # 16
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

no you are not behind.  i set everything right away and wish i hadn’t.  take your time booking the big things or you’ll regret it later like i did!

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