(Closed) Am I being a bad bridesmaid, or is she being a bridezilla?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

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cece_intheuk:  All of the dance participants need to be on the same page and tell the bride no.  If she complaints to anyone about nobody wanting to do the dance, everyone is going to tell her that she’s being unreasonable about this.

Post # 32
13889 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think she’s being rude!  I would never force my friends to do something like this, especially once they’ve said they aren’t interested!  Just say no and stand your ground!

Post # 33
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

That’s why I try to control myself during wedding planning……and not be a bridezilla. 

I know it will be funny watching you girls dance on the floor but if majority of you said no, she should know better.  I thought of taking the advice from bee and ask the bestman to carry the ring pillow (he is a big guy)…. but I skipped that idea, as much as he is fun to hang out with, i don’t want to humiliate him in the public… .hey, I don’t want to risk friendship for that one god damn day. 


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Post # 34
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Totally bonkers. You are not the jesters at some Feast of Fools. There’s nothing worse than being asked to be the butt of other people’s amusement and a wedding is certainly not the place for this.

Sure, if she’s prepared to dance with you then maybe it’d be OK. But as a performer myself, I know that I’d never perform to a crowd unless I was 100% confident in my competence. 

Just say no. 

Post # 35
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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cece_intheuk:  i personally think choreographed dances at weddings are super cheesy but if she wants it, suck it up and do it. listen, i wore a seafoam green satin dress that i could not possible wear a bra under and white eye shadow for a good friend of mine. she is tacky as all hell but i did it for her because it was her day and it made her happy. it’s just one day.

Post # 36
1222 posts
Bumble bee

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TaurianDoll:  I think that’s different though, because looking a certain way is expected of bridesmaids (within reason). Dancing is not. 

Personally I’d never do it. Someone could physically drag me to the dance floor and I would stand there. That’s just not a reasonable thing to ask of someone

Post # 37
1219 posts
Bumble bee

As a guest watching, I would be uncomfortable knowing you were unci\omfortable.  I don’t think it would be as funny as she thinks.  Just say no! They did some crazy ass dancing at my daughters wedding but none of it was planned.  It was all spontaneous.  Dance off Bridesmaids against Groomsmen, Maid/Matron of Honor did a rap while the bride danced, and (don’t know what its called) two lines and people danced down the middle.  And sometimes they danced like fools on purpose! It was great entrtainment but no one was forced to do it.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by  pinkksnow.
Post # 38
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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cece_intheuk:  I don’t necessarily think we need to use the B word here, but yeah, I think your bride is being unreasonable. It’s unfortunate that you have to deal with this, but it sounds like all of you are going to need to be firm and upfront with her about it. Sorry you’re dealing with the weirdness 🙁

Post # 39
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle

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cece_intheuk:  I know the bridesmaids are supposed to do what the bride wants…..but there are limits. Why does she need a side-show at her wedding?!? 

My personal opinion on any of these things that invole people getting up and performing a dance routine is just makes them look like show offs. In this case the bride for some reason wants to see you all make fools of herselve. Is that what she wants her wedding to be rememberd for? 

You’re doing her a favour by saying no. Maybe good sense and good taste will return with time!! 

Post # 41
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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Pinkmoon:  + 10000 Not only is she being a bridezilla but I agree with Pinkmoon, group dances are tacky imo. I also hate couple rehersed dances(unless they are dancers and this is what they do).

It is a wedding not a recital

Post # 42
964 posts
Busy bee

My first thought on reading this was, *court jester*. It’s disturbing that she wants to use your bungling humiliation as entertainment. And very telling that she wants to sit back and watch rather than participate. Is she planning on throwing rotten tomatoes too?

I would straight up tell her that you are not her court jester/ dancing monkey and that wanting friends to humiliate themselves for her entertainment is very unbecoming.

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